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The Russian Hockey Coach Had An Amazing Post-Game Rant After Getting Eliminated From The Olympics

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In one final press conference before his inevitable execution, Russian Olympic hockey coach Zinetula Bilyaletdinov gave some incredible answers about the embarrassing loss that eliminated his team from medal contention. Bilyaletdinov was a little rattled by questions from members of the Russian media, who were obviously pissed off that their hockey team had just been upset by the Finnish on their home turf.

Here is the unaltered, beautifully translated transcript, from the Wall Street Journal:

Q: What future, if any, do you see for your own work and for your coaching staff? Because, you know, your predecessor was eaten alive after the Olympics—

A: Well then, eat me alive right now—

Q: No, I mean—

A: Eat me, and I won’t be here anymore.

Q: But we have the world championship coming up!

A: Well then, there will be a different coach because I won’t exist any more, since you will have eaten me.

Q: But you’re staying, aren’t you?

A: Yes, I will remain living.

That is some unreal, Grade-A paranoia. It’s bordering on straightjacket chatter. Yes, Bilyaletdinov, you will remain living, for now, at least. Any more humiliating losses and you’re puppy chow for the stray dogs.

[via Wall Street Journal]

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