======= ======= ====== ====== ====== ===== ==== ====== ====== ===== ==== ======= ======= ====== ====== ====== ===== ==== ====== ====== ===== ====
British tech company Swiftkey recently published the above map of the most popular emojis in each state.
The company has a report that offers some explanations for why these specific emojis are so popular in their respective states, but I don’t think it gives us the full story. Here are what I assume are the reasons why these states use their respective emojis so often.
(Side note: our publishing tool’s emojis are slightly different than Apple’s, but I am a nice boy and thought I’d help you out by including them anyways so you don’t have to keep scrolling back and forth)
- Alabama🐘– Alabamans cannot spell “Crimson Tide” and are forced to use the emoji to get their point across.
- Alaska🐛– Alaskans have never seen a caterpillar before and are texting this emoji to all 11 people in their phone book in an attempt to find out what this strange insect is.
- Arizona🌵– Arizona is so barren that the cactus is the only emoji any Arizonans recognize.
- Arkansas🎆– Bill Clinton is back in Arkansas texting chicks about the loads he’s gonna shoot onto them.
- California🚕– Californians are always texting about being stuck in traffic while they’re stuck in traffic.
- Colorado📖– Books are made out of paper, which Coloradans need to roll their doobs.
- Connecticut🐨– Koala bears can survive off a diet of only a half pound of eucalyptus leaves per day. This puts their eating habits on par with that of Shabazz Napier and other underfed UConn athletes.
- Delaware🏈– The whole state is all-in on the University of Delaware Fightin’ Blue Hens football team.
- Florida🎺– A trumpet plays “Taps” as yet another octogenarian bites the dust at the retirement community.
- Georgia🌜– Georgians love their moonshine.
- Hawai’i🏄– This one’s got me stumped. I wonder why Hawaiians use the surfer emoji so much???
- Idaho🌻– There isn’t a potato emoji, so Idahoans had to improvise.
- Illinois⛽️– The gas pump is used by people filling up their tank so they can get the hell out of Illinois.
- Indiana🎮– Fucking nerds.
- Iowa🌽– Zach Johnson loves corn.
As an Iowan, this Jug has multi-purposes… pic.twitter.com/dROnlb3uwZ
— Zach Johnson (@ZachJohnsonPGA) August 2, 2015
- Kansas📷– Kansans are so behind on the times that they still use non-phone cameras. What philistines.
- Kentucky💈– A barber’s pole emoji in Kentucky serves as a warning to other Kentuckians that they need to avoid a specific location – It’s a sign that there are cleaning products nearby.
- Louisiana💀– A skull symbolizes the shell of a human that you become after a weekend in N’awlins.
- Maine🌋– Maine actually has volcanoes. Seriously, look it up. The more you know. *Bum bum, bum bummm*
- Maryland👖– Marylanders frequently have watery crab shits, in the same fashion as George Brett’s legendary dump, and thus need to ask friends and family to bring them a fresh pair of pants pretty frequently.
- Massachusetts🐣– The hatching chick symbolizes Tom Brady, whom Bay Staters believe should be freed.
- Michigan🍓– Strawberries are covered in seeds, just like most Michiganders’ mothers’ faces.
- Minnesota🍑– Minnesota’s got big. Booty. Bitches.
- Mississippi💯– Mississippians are proud of the number 100, as it is the highest IQ test score that anybody from Mississippi has ever received.
- Missouri⚾️– It may look like a baseball, but people from the Show Me State use it to symbolize adult diapers, a staple garment for your standard obese and incontinent Missourian.
- Montana🎣– There is literally nothing to do in Montana but fish.
- Nebraska🐌– Time never moves slower than when you are passing through Nebraska.
- Nevada🍆– That right there is a dong for Vegas, you guys.
- New Hampshire🍃– Every fall, Granite Staters have to prepare for the arrival of “leafers” who travel to the state to watch the leaves change. They hate them a lot, for some reason.
- New Jersey🔊– Picture that 4-toned rap air horn sound. This is that sound in emoji form for the Jersey Shore d-bags.
- New Mexico🎭– Apparently New Mexicans are really into theater?
- New York🗽– This one might be even more obvious than the Hawai’i one.
- North Carolina🐹– Grayson Allen is a little rat-looking bitch (I might be a little biased on this one).
- North Dakota👗– North Dakota doesn’t exist, so I’m not exactly sure where this data is coming from.
- Ohio🍨– LeBron James requested ice cream after his tonsil surgery, then waved it off once they brought it to him.
- Oklahoma👻– The ghosts of the Dust Bowl haunt Oklahomans to this very day. Either that or they’re big on Snapchat titties.
- Oregon🔯– Some deformed Star of David looking thing? Portland is just fucking weird, man.
- Pennsylvania🍒– Philadelphians can’t say the word “cherry” correctly so they need it in picture form so us normals can understand them.
- Rhode Island👡– Rhode Island is big on shoes because you can literally walk around the entire goddamn state in one day.
- South Carolina⚓️– Hilton Head is FaF. Deserves the franchor (frat anchor).
- South Dakota👨– This emoji is of South Dakota’s mascot, the male pedophile.
- Tennessee🐎– Tennesseeans are so stupid they think the Kentucky Derby is in Tennessee.
- Texas🍇– Dorn texts people about grapes a lot. Nobody knows why.
- Utah🍭– The swirliness of the lollipop symbolizes the hypnotic nature of mormonism.
- Vermont🔱– Not sure, but I assume this is something meth-related.
- Virginia🐸– Apparently they’re big on frogs in Virginia?
- Washington🎧– Smelly Seattle hipsters have to let all their friends know when they’re listening to the latest Bon Iver single.
- Washington, D.C.⛄️– Clearly a coke reference.
- West Virginia🍂– Dead leaves are the closest intellectual match to a West Virginian.
- Wisconsin⛪️– Don’t be fooled: Wisconsinites aren’t using this for church; they’re using it for the church’s Friday fish fry.
- Wyoming🐺– Wolves outnumber people in Wyoming. I made that up, but it could legitimately be true..
Image via Swiftkey