It’s been a rough week and a half for former White House Communications Director Anthony Scaramucci. In a span of 10 days, he was hired, his wife left him, he went on a “fuck”-laden tirade, he was fired, and the icing on that shit cake? The 2017 Harvard Law alumni directory just came out and listed him as deceased. If you’re scrolling through the class of 1989, you will see his name annotated with an asterisk, signaling that he has indeed taken a dirt nap. Harvard issued a formal apology and vowed to correct this error in the next issue. Here’s the kicker: the directory is only published every 5 years, so The Mooch is going to have to appear dead to his fellow alumni until 2022.
Here’s why this might be the biggest blow to the Mooch’s ego: Anthony Scaramucci loves telling people that he graduated from Harvard Law. I mean loves it like Blac Chyna loves ruining people’s lives and being a terrible parent. We’ve all met that person at a function who won’t shut up about where their degree’s from. That person is The Mooch. Here’s uncut footage of The Mooch organically inserting the word “Harvard” into an interview 5 times in 31 seconds.
Ivy leaguers are the worst, but most of the time it’s someone who went to a middle of the road university and talks about it like it should immediately boost my opinion of them. Oh man, you went to Texas A&M? That’s nuts! You must have been the smartest kid in your entire 300-person town that no one’s ever heard of. Face it: you went to A&M because UT, SMU, Houston, and Rice all laughed at your 22 SAT score. Your safety school was community college after Angelo State waitlisted your ass.
We all went to one college or another, and we all pissed/are in the process of pissing away tens of thousands of dollars in the pursuit of higher education. I’m not saying that all universities are created equal; I’m simply saying no one gives a shit about where you went. Say it once in casual conversation and then never mention it again. Don’t be like The Mooch, who travelled on a road of douchebaggery that ended in divorce and unemployment. That sweet ass pair of Ray-Bans might cover your crying eyes, but it won’t keep the tears from coming..
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