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The Minnesota Vikings Hire #CoolTeen To Serve As Team’s Gen Z Advisor

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From the Minnesota Vikings:

Eden Prairie, MN (September 13, 2017) – The Minnesota Vikings have engaged author and public speaker Jonah Stillman to serve as a Gen Z Advisor. Through the lens of the Gen Z population, Stillman will consult with the Vikings on a variety of club business initiatives, including team marketing and fan activation efforts, Vikings Entertainment Network (VEN) and digital media content and strategy, U.S. Bank Stadium fan experience, STEM opportunities with the future Twin Cities Orthopedics Performance Center and workplace culture.

I hate this move more than almost anything. The Minnesota Vikings are basically announcing to the world that they don’t understand the youth of the world. I can’t even wrap my head around this decision. It’s as if the Vikings are so out of touch that they think hiring a recent high school graduate to tell them what the kids like is a good idea. The next hire will probably be Ken Bone.

Kids are dumb. Kids’ likes and dislikes are constantly changing. Just look at this damn website. One second they are chugging liquids out of their friends’ butts and the next they are popularizing fidget spinners and jumping into shark tanks.

Is this guy going to keep the Vikings social media team up to date with all the most recent dank memes? Is he going to try to bring back the dab? The Vikings are lame as shit for this.

I respect the hustle of young Mr. Stillman for pulling in such a cushy position at such a young age, though. He’ll tell the Vikings that Harambe is old news and tweeting Arthur’s fist after the other team scores is not good. I’m not faulting him in the slightest; I just don’t know what else he’s going to do.

Overall, shit move for the Vikings whose front office is probably still planking and confused and intimidated by the “Damn Daniel” kid. I’d put the crying Jordan face on the Vikings logo but they probably wouldn’t get it. Good thing they have this kid to bring them back to 2017.

[via the Minnesota Vikings]

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Skip Rush

Stronger than most of the high schoolers at my gym. Decent person. Worse writer.

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