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The Female Dragonfly, Like My Ex-Girlfriend, Fakes Her Own Death To Avoid Sex

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Scientists recently stumbled upon a pretty fascinating discovery about dragonflies. Particularly, female dragonflies. Researchers have recently determined that female dragonflies will go to great lengths to avoid sex. To be specific, they fake their own deaths just so dudes won’t bother them. Well well well.

During some presumably mind numbingly boring research, they noticed a male approaching a female, and the female straight up just hit the ground and didn’t move. The male assumed the female was dead so he flew away, presumably to find go to a dragonbar on his never ending search for (living) dragonpussy. At first they thought this was just one isolated shenanigan, but upon further research they found a pattern here. It turns out that this is common as hell in the local dragonfly community.

Huffington Post

A researcher has observed female dragonflies doing something that many human women have probably considered when confronted with unwanted male attention: faking death.

The University of Zurich’s Rassim Khelifa, who has studied dragonflies for the past decade, told New Scientist that he was collecting moorland hawker dragonfly larva in the Swiss Alps when he first saw the phenomenon. A male was pursuing a female, at which point she dove to the ground and lay motionless on her back until the male left.

He’d never seen this behavior before, he told New Scientist. But it turns out it wasn’t an isolated incident.

Well played, female dragonflies. Well played.

But that’s definitely some ego-shattering shit for male dragonflies. Imagine you’re flirting with the cute girl at the bar and she has a random heart attack and just drops dead right there. You’d be sad, call 911, finish your drink, and leave ASAP because corpses smell bad. Then imagine that next week you’re at the bar and you see her there again, alive as shit. Sad.

My point is this: If your girlfriend “dies,” stay skeptical. Did you hear some upsetting news that your girl got in a car accident? Or overdosed? Or died of CAIDS (an innovative combination of cancer and AIDS)? She’s playing you. She’s just trying to avoid fucking you.

Honestly, it’s pretty brilliant.

[via Huffington Post]

Image via Shutterstock

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Wally Bryton

TFM’s most beloved writer

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