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The Diary Of A Naive Pledge: Week 2

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I am able to empathize with the naive pledge, because to a lesser degree, I was the naive pledge. I had no idea what I was getting myself into, but unlike the subject in this diary, I quickly figured it out. The journey from wide-eyed freshman living it up during rush into a broken pledge is a memorable one for all fortunate enough to experience it.

Read part 1 if you missed it.

Wednesday, September 17 – 5:35 PM

I just talked to my parents about my night in the hospital. They wanted to press charges, but I talked them out of it. I want to give these guys another chance.

I miss rush.

Thursday, September 18 – 9:25 PM

Man, talk about an emotional roller coaster. I dunno what to think anymore.

I just left a meeting with our chapter president and Mr. Edgar about the incident that occurred Tuesday night when I got clocked in the face. Mr. Edgar (or can I start calling him Phil again?) appeared to be pretty shaken up about what transpired. When he saw the aftermath of what he’d done — the huge gash and stitches over my eye — I could see remorse all over his face. Dude’s a big softee. Mr. Arnold, our president, told me that Phil was going to start attending anger management. I don’t really know if that’s necessary. I mean we all make drunken mistakes. Plus, he and I are boys, chicks dig scars!

Then, they both apologized to me. Gotta be straight, it was really nice to hear, even though I pretty much already knew they were sorry. They then assured me that no physical or mental harm would be done to me or any other of my pledge brothers for the remainder of the semester. Mental harm? LOL! What is this, Auschwitz (glad my PB Todd Epstein can’t read this lololol)? Don’t know what that was about.

Anyway, talk about a couple stand up guys!

I was considering dropping the frat since I figured a few guys didn’t like me or something, but after this awesome meeting, I can clearly tell that it was all in my head. I couldn’t be more excited! Annnnnnnnnnd, we have a pledge retreat coming up this weekend!!! We’re heading out to one of the active’s ranches. Going to be an amazing time. Gonna get super ripped on keg beer. Lol.

Friday, September 19 – 1:42 PM

It’s such a nice day on campus today. Sunny and about 85 outside. Great day to be a future Delta.

But man, I had class this morning. YUCK! 8 in the morning on a Friday? Who has time for that? I do have to say that the class is at least interesting, though, making it not all that hard to wake up for. Always enjoyed chemistry, and my professor is a funny old man. Love that guy! And because of my pain meds (from the punch to the face), I’m not able to drink alcohol right now, so waking up not hungover makes it so much easier.

I did, however, have a rather odd interaction around lunchtime today. After my chemistry class I spent a couple hours in the library to catch up on some of my studies (side note: GREAT looking sorority chicks on the 5th floor today). After leaving the library I stopped by the campus dining hall nearest my dorm for a quick bite to eat.

I picked up a roast beef sandwich, some Baked BBQ Lays potato chips, a Diet Dr. Pepper, and walked to the dining area when I saw Carl and Jared, two of my absolute favorite Delta actives, eating lunch together. Sweet! I don’t have to eat alone like some GDI loser! (LOL I can’t stand GDIs.)

So anyway, I walk up to Carl and Jared to say whattup, dish out some daps and then sit down to eat my lunch, and they were absolutely rude as hell to me! Carl acted like I slept with his sister or something, and Jared pretended like I wasn’t even there. Literally, he simply ignored me as I was standing beside him trying to engage him in conversation.

“Don’t you even think about sitting next to us, you little cocksucker,” Carl barked at me for no reason whatsoever.

Cocksucker? So uncalled for. I’m freaking heterosexual, CARL! What a dick.

Now that I’m typing this out, I’m starting to think they didn’t recognize me or something. After all, I got a haircut recently and I hadn’t seen them since rush. But they were cool as ice to me during rush. I’m thinking “What gives!?” Lol, what if they just thought I was some random GDI weirdo trying to spark up a friendship while they were eating lunch? Haha, that actually makes sense. Plus, I was wearing a hat last time I hung out with them, and our pledge rules require us to present ourselves like gentlemen, so I can’t wear a hat.

I’ll try to explain this to them when I see ’em next.

Saturday, September 20 – 9:15 AM

Tonight is our pledge retreat, and I could not be more pumped. Hell yeah! I love ranches — bonfires, skeet shooting, whiskey drinking, cutting up with my bros and my future bros. Can’t wait.

As if I needed a reminder, I got a text from Mr. Edgar last night around midnight asking me to ride with him out to the ranch.

“Of course,” I told him.

I’m happy to, honestly. He’s picking me up at 11 AM today. This will give us a chance to get our friendship back on track.

He also told me to bring my favorite handle of whiskey on the trip. I decided to bring the bottle of Woodford Reserve that my girlfriend gave me for my birthday last month. I’ve never tried it, but I heard the stuff was very tasty. I was saving it for a special occasion, and which occasion could be better than this?!

Saturday, September 20 – 2:46 PM

Just arrived at the ranch. Phil and brother Kyle drank my entire goddamn bottle of Woodford on the drive up here. ENTIRE bottle.

They pulled up in my dorm parking lot and honked for me. I made my way out there all jazzed up and ready to go with my sleeping bag under my arm and fishing rod in my hand. Phil yelled (in front of 4 really hot girls), “Get behind the wheel, faggot,” then grabbed my whiskey from my overnight bag and started sipping on it before I could even pull out of the lot. Freaking assholes, man.

I hope the rest of this trip is more fun than that car ride.

Phil just walked by and said to me, “Thanks for the drink, pledge.”

I’m so confused. At least he’s thankful, I guess.

Sunday, September 21 – 12:10 PM

Just returned home from the retreat. Here’s a quick rundown of last night’s events:

* pledge keg race – It was really fun, but we got way too drunk, way too fast.
* pledge rodeo – It was the opposite of fun. I was lassoed and hogtied at one point. I didn’t see who did it, but his breath smelled of Woodford, or at least what I think Woodford breath would smell like.
* eye-fuck accusations – This “eye-fucking” thing came up again after the rodeo while we were sitting around the fire. Mr. Peterson humiliated me in front of all the brothers, and for what? For staring at him? What the hell?

And finally, as the night was ending I headed for my sleeping bag for some much needed shut-eye after a miserable fucking night. When I found my gear, Mr. Edgar was already there.

He was pissing directly on my sleeping bag.

I asked him why, and he responded, “Anger management. I’d rather be murdering you right now.”

To be continued…


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Dillon Cheverere

Dillon Cheverere (@DCheverere) is the Vice President of Media for Grandex, Inc. Email:

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