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The Creators Of Rebecca Black’s “Friday” Bring Us “I Love Chinese Food” — Terrible And Racist

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I’m not even going to say anything about this music video until you watch it. Sing it, Alison Gold!

It starts off confusing enough. An Asian man is speaking in an Asian language, while preparing lo mein at what appears to be a HuHot, with what appear to be pool cues. But don’t worry! It gets way less confusing as a white eighth grader begins to sing to us about how she goes clubbing after prom. If you’re having a hard time following, just read the subtitles, which are conveniently in different languages line-by-line, presumably so people everywhere can collectively have no idea what’s going on. The video really picks up when Alison, with no hesitation, befriends a large man in a panda costume, because a fortune cookie told her to. The panda man then takes her to go frolic alone in a large field, where the duo begin to roll around and tickle each other. It turns out that the panda is none other than Patrice Wilson, the producer, who begins to rap with an Asian accent. He dances a little more, parties with some young girls dressed up as geishas, and then, almost as soon as he brings wonder and fulfillment into our lives, he leaves, flying away on a rainbow.

It’s pretty clear at this point that this production company has mastered the art of trolling. They put out intentionally terrible videos that they know people will talk about for publicity. I respect their game. I just wonder how they find people who are willing to ruin their lives for 15 minutes of terrible fame, and I also wonder where I sign up.

Always remember: “The panda will fly away on a rainbow,” you guys.

Image via YouTube


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Jared Borislow

Jared Borislow (né The DeVry Guy) is a Senior Writer for Grandex Inc and a 2015 graduate of the University of Wisconsin.

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