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11:22 pm: I can’t understand a word Jake Coker says.
11:17 pm: Lol jk that’s the game goodnight folks.
11:16 pm: This has potential to be an all-timer.
11:15 pm: IT AIN’T OVER ‘TIL IT’S OVER!!!!!!
11:09 pm: Henry’s in. Perfect setup for the greatest ending in football game history.
11:05 pm: Sources tell me Coker popped a pimple during that dive.
11:01 pm: O.J. Howard? More like OMG Howard! I’ll see myself out.
10:58 pm: A Coker pick six by Renfrow with Clemson’s kicker pancake blocking Henry is all I want in the world.
10:56 pm: 5 point lead, worst lead in college football, as they say.
10:55 pm: Go for 2, get two. We need this.
10:54 pm: I will not be content with anything less than a Renfrow touchdown.
10:52 pm: GIVE US THE CRAZY ENDING THAT WE
10:50 pm: No we will not. What a waste of a good Drake reference.
10:49 pm: Will we get “Back 2 Back” returns for touchdowns?
10:47 pm: “Cry about it. Cry about it, Clemson fans.” -Boosh’s South Carolina Gamecocks allegiance is shining through.
10:46 pm: I DON’T UNDERSTAND LIFE ANY MORE.
10:43 pm: I overcooked my pizza rolls in all this confusion. Morale is low. Excitement is high. Bama up 4 with 7:47 to go.
10:35 pm: WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON.
10:33 pm: Okay, maybe Griffith is confident…
10:30 pm: Griffith doesn’t look confident. I think Bama’s gonna miss a game-winning field goal, then lose in OT. You heard it here first, folks.
10:27 pm: I can’t believe that duck from Coker was caught.
10:20 pm: This is gonna be a good ending. Making pizza rolls to celebrate the future good times.
10:11 pm: Punting is an art, and Teasdall is an artist.
10:09 pm: Wait, is Renfrow a freshman walk-on? And, if so, why aren’t they bringing it up every 10 seconds?
10:06 pm: Mullaney ruins the great white receiver vibes we were rockin’. For shame.
10:04 pm: The longer the game goes on, the worse Coker’s acne looks on camera. Can’t wait until we see him on Proactiv commercials in a few years.
10:00 pm: Tigers take the lead! Aaaaaaaand they just celebrated by doing the plug. God dammit.
9:55 pm: Watson’s got Saban tossing around his headphones.
9:40 pm: Thank God that pass was defensed, I don’t think I can handle a non-Renfrow tuddy.
9:39 pm: Renfrow should say “screw NCAA rules” and declare for the draft as a rising sophomore.
9:33 pm: Congrats, everybody who took longest play over 50.5 yards!
9:31 pm: Kenyan Drake? I thought he was from Canada!
9:28 pm: We back. Love the fake reverse. Even when it works, it doesn’t work.
9:06 pm: Tie game at the half. Helluva game thus far.
9:03 pm: This has been a bad past couple days for kickers.
8:58 pm: That guy just ran at least 50 yards in the backfield.
8:57 pm: Jake Coker is spending more time on the ground than John Madden’s private jet.
8:54 pm: Additionally, you’re scared, Clemson fans. But we already knew that.
8:52 pm: You’re scared, Bama fans. Admit it.
8:47 pm: With Coker at QB, how you don’t just stack the box all game is beyond us.
8:45 pm: Hmmm…
Dan: 42-35 Clemson
Jared: 35-28 Clemson
Boosh: 35-28 Bama
8:40 pm: Important question here from TFM user “AndrewsMomsAss”
Not dignifying that with a response.
8:33 pm: This game is actually good. Thank you, college football gods.
8:20 pm: Ask us questions in the comments section.
8:18 pm: I haven’t seen this many white wide receivers since the 5th round of my fantasy football draft.
8:15 pm: I instinctively call all white football players “slot receivers” regardless of what position they actually play.
8:13 pm: WHITE GUY TOUCHDOWN ALERT, ROUND 2!
8:09 pm: I hope the laces weren’t in on that kick or we won’t hear the end of it.
8:07 pm: Was that Clemson’s kicker with the sack? I wouldn’t be surprised.
8:04 pm: Clemson’s kicker/punter tandem is on pace for one zillion tackles tonight.
8:02 pm: Clemson has already gotten past the 50-yard line, so this natty is already on pace to blow the 2012 one out of the water.
8:01 pm: I don’t want my own personal pylon cam, I need it.
8:00 pm: WHITE GUY TOUCHDOWN ALERT!
7:56 pm: How do you get tackled by a kicker??? That’s like tripping on an ant.
7:53 pm: Not sure how you don’t tackle Henry by his hair there. He’s asking for it.
7:51 pm: I was typing in “Over/under on how many years Derrick Henry lasts in the NFL – 3” right when he busted through the line. Gonna raise that number to 4.
7:46 pm: Corso picked Clemson, but he’s so senile that I don’t know what to believe anymore.
7:39 pm: Did Lane Kiffin bang enough boosters’ wives to ensure success in this game? Both of these questions remain unanswered.
7:34 pm: Will Jake Coker complete more passes than the number of pimples on his face?
7:31 pm: Tails it is.
7:30 pm: “Tails never fails” – Dan
7:27 pm: Dan thinks Ciara looks sexually pent up. I’m forced to agree.