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Going to the gym has long served more than just a means of getting into shape. The gym is without a doubt the best location for people-watching. There’s a mutual checking-out between both genders, and nothing is more interesting than trying to judge what someone would be like based on their workout habits. Next time you’re (hopefully) discreetly checking a girl out at the gym, consider these observations:
This is the girl who runs a half-hour or more. And by run, I mean sprint. There’s no way you’ll catch her walking or even slowing her pace down to that of a normal human. She is to be feared and respected. Do not approach her unless you are a dedicated individual, both at the gym and in life in general. She won’t be impressed by your one-mile jog routine or your two-minute performance in bed.
Treadmill For 45 minutes (No incline)
The polar opposite of the roadrunner mentioned above, the long distance walker is uncommitted and easily impressed. She goes to the gym to think that she’s getting in shape (and tell others she is), but barely breaks a sweat. If you see her outside of the gym, she’s likely a very low maintenance individual, but isn’t really up for putting in the work. Your chances of a blowjob are a lot slimmer than she will ever be.
This girl shows up in nothing less than a full face of makeup and smoky eye. Her hair is straightened/curled with no ponytail in sight. She almost looks like she could walk straight into a bar, except for the fact she is decked out in every piece of clothing Lululemon has ever made. Despite the fact that she looks like she is in perfect shape, she has never touched any piece of equipment, because “ladies don’t sweat.” She’s simply there to browse the selection. And you likely don’t make the cut. While you will impress all of your friends if you catch her attention, don’t expect to get it if you aren’t okay with wearing matching lulu to the gym with her.
Coordinated Workout With 2+ Friends
Unlike the supermodel, she does come to the gym to actually work out. But she isn’t capable of doing it alone, like many other things in her life. She almost loses it if everyone in the group doesn’t meet their daily step goal for FitBit, and she’s often the girl at bar who refuses to go to the bathroom without every single person she came with. Each decision she makes is scrutinized by her friends, including her love life. If you get her number, expect to wait hours between responses while her and her group chat craft the perfect response to your “wyd?” text.
The Sweatshirt Girl
Not to be trusted. Runs on the treadmill without forming a bead of sweat. Clearly not human, or at least a very crazy one. May possibly try to bite your dick off.
She’s about as all-American as they come. Stunning those around her with her extremely complex combination of crunches and whatever else she found on the internet when googling “flat tummy in 7 easy steps,” this girl is basic in a good way. She is working out because she wants to look hot in whatever teeny-tiny swimsuit she bought for spring break. If you’re lucky enough to be going on the same trip as her, compliment her endlessly. She’ll gladly return the favor.
A seemingly rare breed of girl, she is actually very in-the-know about fitness. You will never catch her squatting with improper form (which is why her ass so fine), and she feels comfortable as one of the guys. She genuinely knows what she wants in life, and exactly how to get it. If you’re not Mr. Right, she’s not going to waste her time. Or reps.