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The 5 Worst Songs in America Right Now

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I’m not sure what’s happened to popular music in the last 15 years, but it’s safe to say it’s gone from “Really bad” to “How are they even calling this music anymore?” It seems that every day another overproduced, oversimplified excuse for music comes out that would be much better used at Guantanomo Bay. I’m here today to highlight 5 such songs that truly deserve special recognition for their ability to make ears bleed at will.

“I’m Sexy and I Know It”

Is there anything really left to be said about LMFAO? After bringing us the catchy but mediocre polished turds of “I’m in Miami, Bitch” and “Party Rock Anthem,” one would think that this dysfunctional duo would have called it quits by now and enjoyed the millions of dollars they clearly don’t deserve.

How a group that looks like the aborted offspring of Sasha Baron Cohen and a retarded lion can make any claims of being “sexy” is truly beyond me. Every time I hear the astoundingly intelligent lyric, “Wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle, yeah” a little part of me dies on the inside, and a much larger part of me wants to commit random acts of violence.

Who knew that you could take five repeated phrases and throw them on top of a shitty techno beat and become a millionaire?

It looks like the jokes on us, and the name LMFAO might be a little more prophetic than we realize. These guys are clearly laughing their fucking asses off about how successful their are, while we are forced to listen to their melodic genocide every time a girl is in charge of the iPod.

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StuffFratPeopleLike (@StuffFratsLike) is a writer for Total Frat Move, and due to his crippling OCD and functional alcoholism he can only understand and write text when presented in a numbered list format. So you're all jerks for calling him out on it. He is a self described Huguenot, and commands a secret sexual fetish for angry internet comments.

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