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The 5 Most Ridiculous Things Ever Done By PETA

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When Dr. Walter J. Palmer decapitated Cecil the lion, the world was pretty pissed off. Luckily, the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) – our favorite radical, far-left animal rights group – came up with a swell solution: hang the dentist.

While the gallows in Washington D.C. remain bare, it’s only a matter of time before PETA strikes again with another outlandish idea concocted for the sole purpose of self-promotion. Here’s a look at the top five stupidest, weirdest, and most outrageous PR stunts staged by the organization:

5. Obama Harms A Fly

When Obama was pestered by a fly during a television interview, the president swatted it dead.

PETA was outraged by the callous regard for insect life, and issued the following statement:

In a nutshell, our position is this: He isn’t the Buddha, he’s a human being, and human beings have a long way to go before they think before they act.

(Side note: Be more like Buddah? You think he got to his astounding level of obesity by eating almonds and grains and shit? Fuck no. Fatty was housing dead cows like it was his job).

PETA used the incident to promote the proper ethical treatment for dealing with flies in a home: Wait for the fly to get stuck on a strip of sticky paper, then take the strip outside and release it. OK, PETA.

They were also kind enough to send the president his very own fly catcher.

4. “Veggie Love” Banned Super Bowl Ad

This vid is hot, but I refuse to concede to the statement of vegetarians having better sex. A girl with a dietary regimen that strict has to be uptight and lame – a sure sign the freakiest you’ll get between the sheets is standard missionary. Also, imagine the stank on a pussy fed nothing but roots and herbs.

Aside from the scientific inaccuracies behind the ad, I’m sure the “sexism” it promotes alienated a large portion of their demo. I’m all about showing the world pics of sexy, half-naked ladies (it’s kind of what I do), but environmentalism goes hand-in-hand with feminism, and I guarantee more than a few of PETA’s followers were pissed off at them for “parading women around like pieces of meat” or whatever.

3. “Super Mario” Promotes Turtle Abuse, Skinning Of Animals

PETA was already pissed at the Mario series for its blatant promotion of turtle abuse. Then, when “Super Mario 3D Land” debuted in 2011, the organization waged an all out war. The group was enraged over a raccoon suit with special powers Mario picked up when he ate a leaf, saying it promoted the skinning of animal furs in the fashion world. They even made a gory little flash game where you play as a skinned raccoon chasing after Mario, who is wearing your fur.

They also hate Nintendo for Pokemon, which they say instills in children a hankering for animal abuse similar to dogfighting.

2. Dog Breeders Are The Klu Klux Klan

To protest the American Kennel Club for breeding a “pure blood lineage,” of dogs, some PETA sickos dressed up as Klan members and crashed their meetings. They also published this nifty quizlet on their website to see if you can spot the difference between the two organizations. Let’s see here … one raises dogs, the other staged a massive wave of lynching with the ultimate goal of genocide. I can see how people might confuse the two.

1. Milk Is Racist

Put down the 2% ya racist pig. As supporters of the Vegan lifestyle, PETA has had a longstanding beef with animal tit nectar. To put an end to the abusive milking, the organization launched a campaign centered around the idea that milk is racist because minorities are more likely to be lactose intolerant.

From Livestock Weekly:

“Tens of millions” of African-Americans, Latinos, Asians and Native Americans cannot properly absorb milk products into their bloodstream, the group said in a letter to Gov. Howard Dean.

They also proposed the idea of wholesaling human breast milk as an alternative, and even pushed for Ben & Jerry’s to sell a flavor called “Double D Dipple Nipple” comprised of breast milk ice cream and double dipped gum drops. Yum.

[via Livestock Weekly, PETA]

Image via YouTube

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Alex Buscemi

AKA Boosh. Former high school back-up wide receiver. Author of two pretty successful Reddit comments. Recent grad from the University of South Carolina.

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