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The 2017 Wife Mock Draft

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Desi Adreadi

Screen Shot 2017-10-11 at 11.40.12 AM

School: University of Rhode Island
Hometown: Philadelphia, PA
House: Top Tier
Major: Business Administration
GPA: 2.9
Hair color: Black
Height: 5′10
Weight: 140 lbs.
Cup Size: D (plump swingers)

– Mediterranean beauty. It’s crazy that a chick from Philly can look this exotic.
– Loves doggy.
– Incredible cook. Walking Greek stereotype.
– Family owns a villa in Santorini that they rent out, but visit twice a year.

– Absolute psycho. Like, legitimately crazy.
– Full bush.
– Nonstop texter. Will blow you up constantly.
– Horrible driver. Even for a woman.

Projected: 2nd round “eh, what the hell?” pick

Outlook: Call me crazy, but I wouldn’t mind throwing caution to the wind here. Hear me out. I’m not entirely sold on the “crazy” scouting report. Europeans are passionate and that can get twisted as “mentally unstable.” She’s fucking fun. Take a shot on this one. I’m buying. Just don’t mention the Turks around her.

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The Champions Tour is a writer for Total Frat Move and Post Grad Problems. If you don't know who he is, just ask your older sister about him.

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