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1. VIDEO: FOX’s Jesse Watters Expertly Trolls Princeton Students Who Get Offended Easily
FOX News’ Jesse Watters, who loves pissing off pussies, visited the campus at Princeton University for Thursday’s edition of Watters World. He found out that yes, these sensitive individuals truly are that dumb.
2. CEO Gives College Crybabies A Hard Dose Of Reality In Open Letter
A lot of college kids these days need to be coddled and told it’ll be a-okay. Then they step out into the real world and are hit by the train that is called work. It’s not pretty. Kyle S. Reyes, the president and CEO of The Silent Partner Marketing firm, penned an open letter to all the college crybabies out there in the New Boston Post and gave them a warning about the postgrad life.
3. Robert E. Lee Elementary School Turns To Internet To Help Rename School, The Internet Does What The Internet Does
To help with the name change, the school board decided that it would be a great idea to turn to the ever so reliable general public to help generate some ideas. As predicted, the results were less than stellar.
4. America Uses Pair Of Fighter Jets To Flex Gigantic Balls Of Freedom On Kim Jong-un
You know you’ve really pissed off the Americans when you see the US military flexing on you for fun. In a display of military power, the U.S. military flew four F-22 stealth fighter jets near South Korea’s border with North Korea.
5. We Received The Greatest Sorority/Fraternity Interaction Ever From 1993
It’s a letter that the 1993 Pi Beta Phi chapter at UC-Berkley sent the school’s Phi Kappa Tau chapter regarding the exposure of some dicks, and it, along with the Phi Taus’ response, is awesome.
6. Ohio State Student Sinks Impossible Shot and Earns An A For Entire OChem Class
The stakes: a perfect score for the entire class on an OChem exam. The contender: this guy, Vinny Forte, who ascended to the high perch of the stoners and the sleeping dudes to challenge the very Gods like a pumped-up garbage can basketball Hercules with his mighty throw.
7. Guy Hides In Girl’s Closet After Her Boyfriend Comes Home, Live-Tweets The Whole Damn Thing
One man, who goes by the name of “brad pitt adopted me” on Twitter (great name, btw), knows exactly what this feeling is like. He was over at his girl’s house, her actual boyfriend came home so homie had to hide out for a while in her closet. He even documented the whole thing on Twitter.
8. VIDEO: Texas Tech Professors Read Terrible Reviews Written About Them
Texas Tech professors decided to look themselves up and see all the horrible things students have said about them and read them aloud for our enjoyment.
9. Sexually Aggressive PETA Commercial Says Vegans Last Longer In Bed, And I Suddenly Want A Steak
PETA dropped this soft core porno of a commercial on the world in a fruitless effort to convert more men into vegans, and I could not have a bigger bone to pick with it. I’m not talking about this three-quarters chub I’m currently rocking after watching the video, either.
10. We Use This Kid’s Photo So Much, His Brothers Call Him “The Logo” And Even Made A TFM Logo With His Silhouette
There’s something just so perfect about this shot. Nothing over the top. No risk of physical harm. No puke or blood or semen. It’s merely a man, his beer, and his junk, which he’s rubbing on a female as she tries to pose for a nice picture. His expression, his attire, and his lack of fucks to give capture everything we embody as a website, which is why the piece fits so perfectly as a banner photo in many of our columns..