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That’s a Clown Pedophile, Bro

  • Ed. Note: This is the actual clown, sexy pose and all. – Bacon

From NYDailyNews.com:

A 47-year-old professional clown was found with a large cache of child pornography on computer equipment in his Arkansas home, police said.

Thomas Harold Morgan – who goes by “Sondance the Clown” – was arrested Wednesday after cops noticed someone downloading child pornography over a file-sharing network.

With a warrant in hand, police stormed into the clown’s home Wednesday morning, which was reportedly in the shape of a comically large rubber bowling shoe with a missing big toe. Police say that at the time of entry, Morgan was alone in his bedroom watching Stephen King’s IT and tying himself into a poodle, you know, just doing clown stuff. However, the suspect became aware of the police presence in his home after an officer stepped onto a squeaking rubber chicken, and the jester immediately jettisoned the house in his vehicle.

The ensuing high speed chase soon became dangerous as the 36 other passengers packed inside of Morgan’s lime green Volkswagen Slug Bug proceeded to throw a flurry of banana cream pies at the pursuing officers. When Morgan became distracted by the Benny Hill theme song blasting from his speakers the officers deployed a series of banana peels in front of the fleeing car’s tires, which caused the clown’s car to spin out. After Morgan’s car was immobilized the police were finally able to contain and surround the suspect.

Once forced out of the car, Morgan reportedly resisted arrest, spraying several of the police officers in the face with seltzer. Thankfully, no one was hurt, and he was subsequently tased, handcuffed, and placed inside of a squad car.

At his booking, the police had Morgan take off his trademark oversized shoes and orange wig. Morgan was thereafter put in solitary confinement with 24-hour police surveillance. The surveillance was a precaution taken by police, who believed he was a suicide risk after he attempted to build a full-scale guillotine out of nothing but red balloons he smuggled into the prison in his colon.

Mr. Morgan is awaiting his trial in Sebastian County jail.

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