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Recently, TFM Sweetheart Taylor Chatley of Arizona State made her way down to Austin, Texas, because, well, we weren’t really sure. But you don’t ever actually need an excuse to come to a city as glorious as Austin and enjoy its seemingly endless collection of drinking establishments (and enjoy she did). Naturally, Taylor decided to get in touch with her buds at TFM and hit the town. If you don’t know who Taylor is, trust us when we say that she is a fantastic time.
Taylor was nice enough to sum up her trip to Austin in a succinct, numbered format–fine, it’s a list, deal with it you whiners. She doesn’t want to confirm or deny what might have happened, so we’ll call this all “hypothetical.”
Reminiscing on the weekend…
Now I’m not saying all of these things happened while I was in Austin, but they very well could have.
22 Things That Might Happen If You Party with the TFM Guys
1. Take shots
3. Make out with one of the TFM guys
4. Take more shots
5. Make out with one of the TFM guys’ girlfriend
6. Black out
7. Have hotel security called within 3 minutes of your after party
8. Change into a Rowdy Gentleman tank
9. Run on a treadmill in a Rowdy Gentleman tank, cowboy boots, a backwards baseball cap and no pants at 3am
Apparently this is what I do at 3am pic.twitter.com/MIlGfCrrgw
— Taylor Chatley (@tay_chat) March 22, 2014
10. Get kicked out of the hotel gym (probably for not wearing pants)
11. Wake up covered in bruises from dancing
12. Almost die in Bacon’s parking lot
13. Lose your phone
14. Have your mom call the police because you haven’t answered any of her calls
15. Pass out with your cowboy boots on and not get drawn on
16. Wake up covered in throw up
17. Not be able to open your eye in the morning because somehow you threw up on that too (shit show gymnastics?)
18. Wake up in a house with 5 TFM guys (and find 2 of them in bed together)*
19. Get a ride home from Tech Guy
20. Learn that a “shame hangover” is a thing (and that you have a bad one)
21. Not remember anything
22. But know it was the most fun night ever
Thanks to everyone who came out and showed me such a good time. Love you all.
That’s a pretty tame weekend by our standards, actually. Glad you had fun, Taylor.
*Ed. Note: Have fun with that one…