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I’ll be honest, you won’t die if you don’t listen to our new podcast. I’m just stealing Diddy’s “Vote or Die” slogan because it’s election season and I enjoy how drastic the options are. Now I attach “or Die” to the end of pretty much everything. If I’m hungry it’s “Eat or Die.” If a girl isn’t sure whether or not to come home with me at the end of the night I tell her “Fuck or Die,” which, frankly, hasn’t elicited great results so far. Things also didn’t end well after I told the cop who pulled me over the other day, “Badge Number or Die.” Just kidding. He got the Diddy reference and thought it was hilarious. We shared a good laugh and I went on my way. You can do pretty much whatever you want when you’re a white guy in nice clothes. (More on that in a minute.)
So yeah, you won’t die, but you should still listen to TFM’s new podcast: “Inside TFM.” Every week, I’ll be joined by a rotating cast of TFM personalities, including Boosh, DeVry Guy, and Jake Goldman (formerly The Dapper Dipper for all you old balls readers, currently “Goldman” the appropriately named treasurer on “Exec Board” for the newer guys), to recap the most ridiculous stories from the site and around this country’s Greek and college communities. We’ll also share the dumbest drunk thing we did the week before in our “Dumb, Drunk Thing of the Week” segment. For example, last week Boosh and one of the site’s graphic designers decided to cruise the Austin backpages while shitfaced at 3 AM and came tantalizingly close to ordering a nighttime companion. My guess is Boosh travels down that road again. Soon.
We’ll also take listener questions from our hotline, (800) 392-6344, so long as they aren’t something like; “Hey Rob, how many mop handles can you fit inside of you total?” The answer is I haven’t tried but if the over/under were 5 I’d take the under unless there were some sort of monetary reward.
The first week’s topics will include, among other things, my recap of how I snuck into the Broncos locker room after they won the Super Bowl, my drunken altercation with Levi’s Stadium security after the game, and how I had basically free rein of the stadium during the Super Bowl because I was a white guy in nice clothes wearing multiple lanyards, including one that said “Media.” It was fantastic.