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Tennessee Political Attack Ad Compares Opponent To Lane Kiffin

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Time heals all wounds. That is, as long as you’ve had some measure of success after sustaining the heartbreak, which explains why Tennessee, as a state, is still collectively butthurt about Lane Kiffin. Hell, some barber won’t forget about the $14 he’s owed from Kiffin. If passive-aggressive comments in college football forums aren’t enough to convince you of that, check out this ad run by Eddie Smith, against his incumbent opponent for the Tennessee legislature, Gloria Johnson.

You have to give the guy points for originality. I haven’t seen a political attack ad that centered on an opponent’s similarities to a football coach since the time I stapled posters of my high school class presidential opponent with her face Photoshopped on Andy Reid’s body. Here’s the thing, though: this comparison doesn’t hold water. I should know; I earn the vast majority of my money making stupid analogies. See, Lane Kiffin gave Tennessee a year, and then split. So I don’t even know why Vols fans are still talking about it. It’s like the girl that cheats on you. Yeah, she’s a bitch, but aren’t you glad you found out before she gave you herpes? You ding dongs saw what happened at USC, right? They got the herpes, man. This Gloria lady might be a terrible rep, but at least she’s sticking around. Plus, she filed legislation to get more time off work, and I’m almost positive that you can’t be a real politician unless you’ve at some point filed legislation to get more time off work.

This is sure to stir up some ire in the Volunteer state. It seems like a bit of a cheap shot, given that Johnson is a Tennessee graduate and actually has a political endorsement from former head coach Johnny Majors, but when you’re the upstart taking on an incumbent, I guess all things are fair, including comparisons to inept, bubble screen aficionados.

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Sterling Cooper

Sterling Cooper is a contributing writer for Total Frat Move and Post Grad Problems. He has never understood why people like sand, and has been in a bitter ten year rivalry with Muggsy Bogues, for reasons neither of them choose to reveal.

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