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This is one of the best drunken knockouts you’ll see in a while. Unfortunately, it comes at the expense of a presumed fraternity member. Still, this KO will give you a semi-chub, guaranteed.
According to the Daily Mail, the video takes place in the small town of Johnson City, Tennessee — the “Wagon Wheel” notable and hometown of the one and only Steve Spurrier. We don’t know that the kid is in a fraternity, but the Facebook caption says so and, let’s be honest, all the signs are there.
It starts with a shirtless and intoxicated bro egging on a bar bouncer. The bouncer is chill — not overly interested in throwing some bows, but more than willing if provoked. Then, when it looks like mayyyybe shirtless guy is going to back down, comes the final nail in the coffin: A girl calling out “Cory, don’t do this shit. Come on!” Literally never works. If anything, you’re sealing the deal, lady. I’ve watched enough National Geographic to know that Cory must now fight to defend his honor as an alpha male in front of his female pack or die trying.
Without further adieu, the pièce de résistance:
Good night, Cory.
When you look at the size of that bouncer, one swing was all Cory was gonna get. Even if he connected, his chances were not good. I’m trying to think of the last time I saw a shirtless guy win a fight against a guy with a shirt. Not a good track record.
To make matters worse, Cory probably didn’t know he was messing with an actual MMA fighter. Uproxx identified the bouncer as John Hernholm, an MMA fighter with a 5-0 amateur and 1-0 pro record. I’m pretty sure we can add 1-0 in murders onto that list.
Words of advice to anyone thinking of picking fights with a bouncer: Don’t do it. Their only job is to kick people’s asses. It’s a shame I couldn’t tell Cory this before he was forced to eat out of a tube for the rest of his life. Sorry, bud..
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