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Look, some of us are virgins. I’m not, obviously, but I’m speaking for those of us that haven’t “stuck it in” and don’t have the courage to admit it (cc: Jared Borislow).
It’s a hard truth we have to face. Sex doesn’t come easy for everyone. I think most people I know lost their virginity in high school between the ages of 16-18. That was a magical time. But I know people now at 22-25 who are still looking for that special someone who still accepts V cards. It’s a tough life to live, but it’s one that is more common than most would assume.
Luckily for us, there are some gorgeous college girls in Santa Barbara who are still willing to fuck you, even if it is your first time.
“Act like you know what you’re doing. If you make it awkward, she will feel awkward and the whole thing will be awkward.”
That quote isn’t exactly what she said, but you get the gist of it. Truer words have never been spoken. I remember my first time — all that thinking about not blowing my load too fast and suddenly — bam. It’s all over. 23 seconds of sexual bliss. Things got awkward fast.
If you are a virgin, it’s okay. Don’t worry. Gorgeous girls are still out there and will help you get over the hump. (That’s a pun. Please rate it in the comments.)
But get on it fast. And if you haven’t already, book a flight to Santa Barbara..