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Stuff Frat People Like: Back to School

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It’s amazing the difference a few years make. Back in our younger days, the end of summer symbolized an end to freedom and had a cataclysmic effect on our happiness. Middle and high school summers were full of stacks of summer reading and dread over the upcoming hours of scholastic captivity. Now, in your years of fraternal excellence, the complete opposite is true.

No matter how you may have spent your summer, be it working or relaxing or even staying in your collegiate town of choice, the beginning of fall is something you’ve eagerly been waiting for. While you may have been happy to be away from the dull responsibility of class for a bit, lets be honest you were ready to get back to the Frat Castle within the first week.

The new year represents a whole new beginning, and it’s always good to set a few goals before you chug that first beer in honor of a fresh start. These goals could be anything from completing your sexual gauntlet of sororities, going out a minimum four nights a week, or even to raising your GPA. Whatever your ambitions may be, I suggest you get started right away to make this year your best yet. And if you’re a senior (like me) this holds doubly true. This is our last chance to make a mark on our universities and frat our undergrad asses off. By all means we will capitalize.

Finally, you will have pledges to answer to your whims once again (“These boots aren’t going to shine themselves!”). A whole slew of gorgeous freshmen girls will be gracing your sororities on campus (too easy). Kickoff to another amazing college football season is just around the corner (though I don’t plan on remembering the games). I could go on all day about why a new year is great, but I’m not telling you anything you don’t already know.

The summer has ended, brothers, and we are on the cusp of a year so full of debauchery and blatant disregard to our livers that our mothers are literally fearing for our lives. We only get three and a half years of fratting (three if you’re a spring pledge/aka pussy), and by God we’re going to make them the best we can. When you pour that first glass of whiskey, chug that first beer, or toss that first ping pong ball into a cup, remember the repetitiveness of your summer and remember to enjoy every moment of some of the greatest years of our lives.

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StuffFratPeopleLike (@StuffFratsLike) is a writer for Total Frat Move, and due to his crippling OCD and functional alcoholism he can only understand and write text when presented in a numbered list format. So you're all jerks for calling him out on it. He is a self described Huguenot, and commands a secret sexual fetish for angry internet comments.

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