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Breaking bad news to parents is like letting air out of a balloon. If you do it slowly, it’s quiet and controlled. But if you let it out all at once? Good luck trying to figure out which direction that shitstorm is going to go. Or, you could just go with the option of calling in a bomb threat to your school’s graduation ceremony. This isn’t the method I personally recommend, though.
Danielle Shea, a former student at Quinnipiac University, did just that. You see, Shea didn’t attend any classes this past year–and her parents had no idea. When it came time for her to graduate, well…you can see the issue here.
In a last ditch effort to avoid having to break the news to her family, Danielle called in two separate bomb threats to the university. First, she called the school just before 6 p.m. and reported that there was a bomb in the library. Seventeen minutes later, she called again and said, “Several bombs are on campus. You haven’t cleared out graduation. That’s not a good idea.”
When the police finally caught up with her, she was on the floor of the relocated ceremony wearing a cap and gown. She later provided them with a confession, claiming she panicked when her relatives didn’t see her name in the commencement program.
Instead of admitting defeat, dealing with her embarrassment, and letting her parents bitch at her a little bit, Shea faces charges of first degree threatening and falsely reporting an incident. She is being detained on a $20,000 bond.
Just go to class. Shit.
[via New Haven Register]