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Don’t Be A Boner, Spend All Your Student Loan Money On Spring Break

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Snorting some questionable nose candy, making even more questionable decisions all because I was on the beach and likely had sun poisoning mixed with whiskey dick. Now that’s how you’re supposed to spend a spring break. And you know what I wasn’t worried about? Money. When you’re drinking on a beach, money isn’t an issue. Sure, you’ve got student loans back in your home state, but you don’t have to pay them back if you’re lost in international waters. Apparently a growing number of college students are using their student loan money to take lavish spring break vacations and, you know what? I applaud you.

From the NY Post:

Roughly 30 percent of US students will tap into their growing pile of college debt to pay for their weeklong frolic, a survey from LendEDU revealed.

While using student loan cash for booze, beer pong and sunblock is not illegal, few experts find it wise.

Students should minimize their borrowing during their college years and live a sparse lifestyle — but no one wants to hear that when their fraternity brothers or sorority sisters are packing up to Cabo for the week,” said Greg McBride, chief financial analyst of

Get lost, Greg. You don’t know my life.

College students deserve to use the student loan money for spring break vacation. That shit goes straight back to the people anyhow with the amount of times you end up at either the local Waffle House or strip club. Either way, you’re supporting single moms.

I’m calling fake news on this, anyhow. The company only surveyed 500 college students which is a ridiculously small sample size. Something tells me girls from Arizona State and girls from the University of Montana are gonna spend their spring breaks differently. Put some effort into your survey, ya jagoffs.

Treat yourself, fam. Use your student loan money if you have to. You’re gonna be in debt until you’re 30 at least. What’s another year? You’re here for a good time, not a long time. Let ‘er rip.

[via NY Post]

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El Taco

Either a war hero or war criminal depending on how you look at it

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