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The Mannequin Challenge blows a barbed wire wrapped baseball bat. I dislike it thoroughly. Yeah, sure, it’s all good, harmless fun that anyone can participate in. And it seems like people enjoy doing it. But also it’s a fucking stupid waste of time, and usually involves roughly the same amount of creativity it takes to quote Anchorman, but like fifty times the effort. Hard pass. No one should work that hard to be so mediocre.
I’ll admit, there have been some genuinely creative, impressive Mannequin Challenge videos. But for every one portraying a Mexican standoff over twenty kilos of cocaine or a family finding their son in his room, dead of autoerotic asphyxiation (two videos that I don’t think actually exist, but should, and two in which I would happily participate) there are about a billion that consist solely people making goofy faces, holding some whacky item, or frozen in place doing basically nothing.
It’s the kind of thing I have nightmares about my mom trying to get my family to do on Christmas morning when all the siblings are back home, and the sort of reason the rest of the family prohibits her from having Facebook. If I knew that shit was planned for Christmas morning I swear to God I’d go out and get a DUI on Christmas Eve and spend the night in jail just to miss it. Yeah, I’d rather have a mugshot online for swerving off the road, plowing into and eventually barfing on a nativity scene than me in a basic AF Mannequin Challenge. That sounds idiotic until you remember where I work and realize how little of my once good name I have left to torch.
All that said, you bet your balls I’ll watch a Mannequin Challenge chock full of strippers. And here’s that exact thing, from the good people of Larry Flynt’s Hustler Club in East St. Louis.
Now that, that is talent and time well spent. Solid marketing as well, Hustler Club (their Facebook page is surprisingly active, I recommend throwing it a like). See you in a few weeks..