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Step Aside, R. Kelly — The New King Of Golden Showers Is Here

golden shower new mexico metallica

Whether you like the music or not, metal concerts are some of the most craziest in the world. At no other show can you witness such a wide array of absolute madness. Between hammered divorced dads who take their kids to a Slayer concert the one time they see each other that month and biker gangs starting group brawls, the entertainment is priceless.

My opinion was solidified this week when a New Mexico man was caught peeing on a family of three at a Metallica concert in Glendale, Arizona.

From Huffington Post:

Daniel Daddio, 44, of Albuquerque, was arrested after a family of three told employees at the University of Phoenix stadium they “felt warm liquid washing over their backs and legs,” according to KNXV TV.

The father, who was attending the show with his wife and 10-year-old daughter, told police when he turned around he saw the suspect holding his genitals.

Police said the father confronted Daddio, who allegedly just shrugged, according to KSAZ TV.
 
State troopers were called to the scene. They questioned Daddio, who denied peeing on the family.

There’s a lot to digest with this story. First off, the assailant’s name is “Daniel Daddio,” for Christ’s sake. With a name like that, you are destined to either work in the adult film industry or golden shower people. I will go out on a limb and say that this was not the first nonconsensual golden shower Daddio’s given somebody. It probably wasn’t even the first one he dished out that night. Second, who the hell brings their 10-year-old child to a Metallica concert and does not expect a traumatizing experience to occur? Perhaps the funniest part of this debacle is the fact that Daddio simply shrugged off the situation and fully denied the accusations.

Daddio’s lifestyle is the metal lifestyle. When you’re a metalhead faced with either waiting in a bathroom line and missing out on some bitching guitar riffs from James Hetfield or relieving yourself in the stands, what do you do? Just like Daddio, you get your money’s worth and spray your stream in the stands without missing a second of the show (tickets to which you sold your food stamps for) even if it means peeing on a family. Rock on, Daddio.

[via Huffington Post]

Image via Shutterstock

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