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TEXAS—With the 2011 State of the Union airing at 8 p.m. CST, widespread boredom is sure to engulf the nation. More than ever this speech will be nothing more than a showcase of tradition, after Obama and the libs lost control of the House to the Republican Party. In many ways Obama is fighting the Democratic image, and the GOP, to see who can display more fiscal restraint during this debt consumed era. Even if Obama knows he can speak in a more politically and grammatically correct fashion that George W. could, at least W made the jaded State of the Union more entertaining with inadvertent comedic displays and his Texas twang.
How do we avoid disinterest and boredom? Obvious answer: turn the event into a drinking game, and watch a classic clip of Ronald Reagan making jokes about Russian commies. Thank heavens we have Rush Limbaugh here to help us. It’s common knowledge that Rush used to have a problem raging with painkillers. Well now he’s helping us out by giving us a way to rage on a Tuesday boozeday with some advice on how to make the State of the Union more enjoyable:
“If you want to do a drinking game for the State of the Union show tomorrow night I have two words and you will be plastered inside the first 20 minutes: ‘Investments’ and ‘civility.’ If you consume a shot of quality adult beverage every time you hear Obama talk about investments or civility, ladies and gentlemen, you’ll be unable to pay attention to that thing.” -Rush Limbaugh
When he says a quality adult beverage, does he mean morphine? I don’t know. I know he doesn’t mean a fucking martini, sake bomb, or some Pinot Noir. This is America, and even if the speech is boring we’re still going to have some fun.