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Sparty Paints Michigan Diag Green And White

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The University of Michigan college football team, otherwise known as NAMBLA, is in full-blown circus mode. It has no coaching. It has no students in the seats. Its pets’ heads are falling off, or maybe that was just Shane Morris’ scrambled brain. At 3-4, the winningest team in football history has certainly seen better days. Sure, those days existed before players of all races were allowed to play, but those days nonetheless existed, dammit.

Things don’t appear to be getting any easier for Big Blue this week, as the team will make the trek up to beautiful East Lansing for a Paul Bunyan-sized showdown versus the eighth-ranked Spartans of Michigan State. As is tradition, every year during Paul Bunyan Week, Michigan fans try to give MSU’s Sparty statute a blue and yellow makeover, whereas the Spartans attempt to tag the famous Michigan Diag on central campus.

As is expected this Saturday on the gridiron, it was Sparty who came out on top of this year’s battle of wills. Pictures have surfaced of the Michigan Diag painted green and white. The letters S and U now follow the M, as well. Frankly, it comes as a bit of a surprise that the effort was a success, given that every year, the Theta Xi fraternity in Ann Arbor is tasked with guarding the monument. Leave it to Michigan to have a lackluster showing of defense.

Two days, gentlemen. If he dies, he dies.

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J Parks Caldwell

J. Parks Caldwell is a senior contributing writer for Total Frat Move, Rowdy Gentleman, and Post Grad Problems. He frequently blesses the rains down in Africa.

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