Someone Stole Kanye’s Laptop, Leaked A Terrible Song, Started Twitter Account Threatening To Leak More

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Kanye West apparently accidentally left his backpack, containing his laptop, somewhere in Paris, and an anonymous Frenchman snatched that shit right up. As a result, a cringeworthy and disturbingly cheesy love ballad to Kim Kardashian, titled “Awesome,” has leaked (you can listen below). The person in possession of his laptop also created a Twitter account which he or she is using to threaten the release of even more (hopefully less terrible) material.

If someone stole my laptop and used my personal shit to build a Twitter following, my brain would explode from anger overload. And I don’t have anything this embarrassing on my laptop…

That song is the opposite of awesome. And while I’m confident it won’t be on his new album (fingers crossed), the fact that he spent even a few minutes in a recording studio putting that garbage together is just disappointing. “All Day” is badass, and he should be spending his valuable time making jams like that, not sappy garbage like this.

There’s not really an upside to this whole stolen laptop situation for fans. Sure, there’s a chance we could see another Kim Kardashian sex tape leak, but the first one was extremely underwhelming, and we’ve seen her butt ass naked at pretty much every possible angle already, so I’m not sure that would be worth the potential spoiling of So Help Me God.

The master troll running this @kanyelaptop account recently tweeted a particular creepy Anonymous video directed at Yeezy, but the video makes no mention of a laptop (although it is terrifying).

On a completely unrelated note, I’d just like to say how much respect I have for Anonymous as an organization. *sets computer on fire*

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Ross Bolen

Ross Bolen is a New York Times Bestselling author, host of the Oysters, Clams & Cockles podcast, host of the Back Door Cover podcast, Rockets, Astros and Texans internet mascot, cheese enchilada aficionado, nap god, 2017 Masters attendee, and Editor-in-Chief of Grandex Media.

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