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Someone Needs to Haze These Little Douche Bags

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A video of an elderly woman being mocked to tears by a group of shithead kids on a schoolbus recently surfaced on YouTube. The woman, 68-year-old Karen Klein, is a schoolbus aide in the Greece Central School District in upstate New York. She is also a grandmother of eight.

Ms. Klein was presumably minding her own business when the taunts began flying her way. The kids called her fat, ugly, a troll, threatened to egg her house and take craps on her property, and told her that her family should kill themselves. That last insult especially hit home with Ms. Klein, whose oldest son committed suicide ten years ago. The kids, who undoubtedly have a neglect filled home life, then accused Ms. Klein of raping children and having STDs. Klein tried to remain calm and silently remind herself that these shitty kids were the product of hookers paying for meth with sex, but eventually she broke down and began to cry.

Here’s the video:

More than $90,000 has been raised for Ms. Klein, I guess to send her on a vacation or something. Although this incident was heinous and she probably deserves a vacation I’m not quite sure this situation warrants giving Ms. Klein $90,000, but whatever, it’s not my money.

Police have spoken with the kids but it’s doubtful that charges will be filed. Ms. Klein herself doesn’t want charges filed against the kids, in fact had the video not shown up on YouTube she said she wouldn’t have said anything at all. Even at 68 Ms. Klein still knows that snitches get stitches, she has more integrity than these kids ever will. She did request however that the kids apologize to her.

I have a better solution. It’s a very 90’s solution, with a frat twist. First we need to resurrect the Sally Jesse Raphael Show. And yes, it HAS to be Sally Jesse Raphael, Montel Williams would fuck this all up. Then we send the kids on the show and have Sally berate them for like twenty minutes. Obviously this is all a set up for the classic “Bad Kid Bootcamp” scenario. The twist, however, is that instead of sending out some faux drill instructor, you send in a pledge trainer. A black out drunk pledge trainer with serious rage issues and a deep love for his grandmother.

Sally: So you kids think you’re REAL tough, picking on an old lady, huh?

Kid 1: We don’t care. She’s old and stupid.

Sally: Well we all thought you needed to learn a lesson.

Kid 2: Whatevuh. We ain’t scared of your lame ass drill instructor.

Sally: Oh no, there’s no drill instructor. Boys and girls I’d like you to meet Austin Prescott, a pledge trainer from a university and fraternity that for legal reasons we can’t even name. Austin has been sitting backstage, watching the YouTube video on a loop and chugging whiskey. He’s already punched nine holes into the walls of his dressing room and he’s made three of our production assistants cry this afternoon! Austin, come on out.

(*Pledge Trainer stumbles on stage, cross eyed and furious, holding a nearly empty handle of Maker’s Mark*)

Pledge Trainer: Listen up you little FUCKING SHITS! I am going to fuck the FEAR OF GOD INTO YOUR SKULLS! You think YOU have fun making people cry!?! (*leans in to Kid 1, whispers*) Tears get me hard. (*steps back*) BOWS AND TOWS NOW! SO HELP YOU GOD GET ON YOUR BOWS AND TOWS!

(*breaks bottle of Makers Mark on the ground*)

(*kids start crying, get on ground*)

Pledge Trainer: By the time I’m done with you bitches your souls are gonna be as broken as your homes.

Any volunteers?

[h/t to reader GrizzlyTFM]

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