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Social Justice Protestors Claim Their Protest Dance Party “More Lit Than Every Frat Party In History Combined”

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The biggest problem I have with crazy social justice nuts is that I don’t understand them, and they don’t understand me. Case in point: this group of idiots in Minnesota that think their lame protest dance party is “more lit than every frat party in history combined.”

From Conflict MN:

30 to 40 folks gathered near frat row, ready to show the boys how to throw a real banger. Our party decorations included flares, a sparkly pink “KILL RAPISTS” banner imploring bystanders to connect with the rage that thousands of survivors feel, and our middle fingers. We casually strolled onto University Ave, chanting “fuck frats!” and “anytime, any place, punch a rapist in the face!” Our voices were accompanied by a marching band, cuz what good soirée is complete without a brass section?

Yeah, what awesome rager have you ever been to the DIDN’T have a brass band? Isn’t being in the 1920s great???

Let’s break down this incredibly stupid article:

The website Conflict MN is an anarchist blog, leading me to take everything written here with a healthy dose of skepticism. The way the writer describes this “party” does a lot to distract from the fact that it was obviously only like three angry girls and one music major with a trumpet who would have rushed one of these frats in a second if he’d gotten a bid. It’s like a freshman trying to convince you how awesome the lame rave he went to last weekend was.

Also, carrying around a sign that says “Kill Rapists” is a great way to engage somebody with ideological and cultural differences to you in a mature and positive way. And blanket generalizing fraternities to all be rapists isn’t discriminatory and closed-minded at all.

Frat boys stared on dumbfoundedly as their walkways were redecorated with slogans ranging from “fuck frats” to “kill frat boys.” Campus was beautifued with circle A’s and copious amounts of paint.

If I saw these assholes outside of my house, I would be confused, too. But I think the anarchists claiming the frat boys even noticed them is giving their stupid little effort way too much credit.

Also it sounds like the party was just them causing a whole bunch of property damage. Which I’ll hand it to them — any party where you start destroying things usually does qualify as “pretty lit.” But that’s usually throwing furniture out of the third story window and lighting it on fire.

Wimpy spray paint doesn’t qualify.

While some folks joined from the sidewalk, crust punks cheered us through dinkytown as they realized their spanging couldn’t compete with the masked up group shouting “fuck the frats!”

Can somebody in Minnesota tell me what the heck Dinkytown is? Or is this person just completely losing their grip on reality?

Ironically, when you google Conflict MN (which I did to figure out what kind of a piss rag this thing actually was) one of the unrelated results is for a conflict resolution firm, which sounds like something that might apply here.

In the meantime, squirt guns and waterballoons is how I would handle this kind of ridiculous bullshit. According to the rest of the story, these protestors eventually got run off by the cops.

We quickly dissolved into the night, hopefully scaring a few dumbass freshman out of rushing a fraternity, inspiring a few phonecalls to daddy’s lawyer, and having taught them that there are better ways to make friends than paying for them.

Yeah, no you didn’t.

[via Conflict MN]

Image via Shutterstock

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Doctor Franzia

*Not qualified to practice medicine*

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