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So I Guess High Schoolers Are Just Shoving Coke Bottles And Baseball Bats Up Each Other’s Butts Nowadays

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Am I crazy or has there been an unusual amount of stories over the last year or so that involve high school athletes shoving foreign objects up the rectums of their younger teammates all in the name of hazing? It’s like every other week that some small town punks are being placed in handcuffs for going in dry on some poor JV bastard with either a Louisville Slugger or Saguaro cactus. It’s starting to becoming a trend. Scratch that. The bottle flip and nae nae dance battles were trends. This is bordering a full blown epidemic.

Today, news broke that nine more students have been arrested for the sexual assaults of multiple male minors at La Vernia High School in rural Texas.

From The Daily Beast:

“Kids were holding them down in the locker rooms, there was a lookout at the door watching for coaches not to come. They hold them down and stick various items up their rectum… including Coke bottles, deodorant bottles, steel pipes, baseball bats, and broomsticks.”

Correct me if I’m wrong, but I don’t remember seeing this episode of “Friday Night Lights.” Pretty sure Tim Riggins never sodomized Landry with one of his empty beer bottles that he was throwing back mid-day sophomore year. And I never personally recall fearing for the safety of my innocence or sphincter during the ol’ glory days. A five star slap to the back? Sure. Get someone good and that handprint could last for weeks. But literally having pipe laid into me? Maybe I’m showing my age here, but that never even crossed my mind as a possibility. Christ. The youth’s getting more fucked up by the day, man.

[via The Daily Beast]

Image via Youtube

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Dan Regester

Dan Regester @Dan_Regester is a Senior Writer, Podcast Host, and Video Guy for Grandex Media. He's Delco trash to the core and a UCF cinema studies graduate because he never got around to applying to an actual film school. Dan is a gambling man, crypto investor, and procrastinator. He enjoys long walks to the water fountain between bench press sets and is not a fan of the homeless, the elderly, or the Phoenix Airport. Email tips to

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