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Shia LaBeouf’s Broadway Arrest Story Is 7 Minutes Of Awesome

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On Monday, Shia LaBeouf appeared as a guest on “Jimmy Kimmel Live!” before of the release of “Fury,” a WWII-centric epic in which he costars with Brad Pitt. Kimmel, usually one to prod his guests for content a little more racy than his competing “Tonight Show” hosts, didn’t disappoint when he questioned LaBeouf about a recent arrest in New York City after he was kicked out of a Broadway showing of “Cabaret.”

LaBeouf’s narration of the events that led to his lock-up turned out to be seven straight minutes of awesome, entertaining, hilarious storytelling. Not to spoil it, but it involves a shitload of whiskey, the World Cup, a homeless man, feeding 60-year-old women fruit, Allen Iverson, and, of course, even more whiskey.

“So I’m like, ‘You gotta do something. You gotta do something, man. You’re gonna die in here.’ So I turn into Tupac and now I’m ripping my shirt off and doing push-ups like, ‘Don’t mess with me dawg.’ And the guy’s like, ‘What are you in here for?’ And I’m like, ‘Cabaret,’”

Incredible.

It’s safe to say I can only hope to run into this guy on the streets of New York one day, and this story has made my respect grow for him about 100-fold. He’s really come a long way since his “Transformers” days. It would be an honor to buy him a shot of Glenlivet sometime, or in a more likely case, like, 10.

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Ashley Schaeffer BMW

Ashley Schaeffer was a senior contributing writer for Total Frat Move. If you thought he was a woman, he'll take that as a compliment, because he loves women. Wooh.

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