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World Champion Pole Vaulter Fails Cocaine Test, Uses Incredible Excuse To Clear His Name

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Back in July, Canadian pole vaulter Shawnacy (Aka Shawn) Barber tested positive for cocaine before he was set to go off to Rio. A striking blow to an athlete’s dreams to compete at the highest level, especially for someone who had won the World Championships the year before. However, Shawn had himself a good excuse.

Barber was a little stressed out and wanted to relieve his stress before he competed at Canada’s Olympic trials. What’s a man to do? Hit up Craigslist for a little sex, right? Right. Shawn got himself on the casual encounters tab, hit it off with a woman, and invited her to his hotel room. During the time in the hotel room, the lady was doing lines of coke (and maybe Shawn was too, but he’s not telling).

The two then began to kiss and have sexual intercourse. Shawn claims that he did not do cocaine and did not taste anything unusual while he made out with her mouth and her lady parts. So his excuse was that he ingested the cocaine from their sexual encounter. And you know what? It fucking worked.

From City News:

Barber was cleared to compete just two days before the Rio Games got underway, after the panel concluded “that it was more likely than not that the athlete’s contamination with cocaine resulted from kissing the woman.”

There you have it. If you’re ever in a pickle when it comes to a cocaine test, find some girl on Craigslist who is willing to testify she was the only one doing cocaine during your encounter. Sure, it might look bad that people now think you bang girls from Craigslist (because you do), but that $20 you spent to get her to testify kept your record clean.

I know you guys only tested him for cocaine, but he should probably get tested for an STD as well. Hooking up with a girl off of Craigslist is like playing Russian Roulette with five bullets in the chamber.

[via City News]

Image via Twitter/@vaultbarber

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Harrison Lee

The Boulevard is a Content Manager for Grandex, Inc. He hates soccer and terrorists. He will forget more about sports than you will ever know in your lifetime.

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