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What a week it has been for the PGA Tour. As an avid golfer, every weekend watching the tour is exciting for me–however, I’m afraid I can’t say the same for most people. If you’re looking for a reason to appreciate professional golf, here are a few storylines for you from the past week: Dustin Johnson decided to take a leave of absence from the tour because boobs and cocaine, Tiger Woods proves that sex with porn stars doesn’t improve your golf game, and Sergio Garcia isn’t being a dick for the first time in his life.
The most shocking storyline in the bunch is that Sergio isn’t being a jackass or making racist comments, such as this:
After hitting a shitty tee shot during the final round of the 2014 Bridgestone Invitational yesterday, Sergio meandered down the fairway to discover he had knocked the diamond out of a fan’s ring. While she didn’t seem upset, Sergio still made a few swipes at the rough with his club in a half-assed attempt to find the diamond.
Those are fucking British commentators for you. The bastard thought he was one clever motherfucker with the “diamond in the rough” quip. Thank God we escaped from that sense of humor. You know, the American Revolution and shit.
Anyway, Sergio was an upstanding guy for a moment and you can clearly hear him asking the marshal for the fan’s contact information, should the gem not be found. Thankfully, one of the fans in the sea of sausage that seemed to line the fairway (Seriously, where are the women?) found her diamond.
You actually earned yourself a sliver of respect from me, Sergio. Let’s see how long it takes for you to lose it.
Image via YouTube