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We are all sick in the head.
According to data collected by PornHub, searches for “Leprechaun Porn” surge 8,000 percent on Saint Patrick’s Day. Searches for “Irish Creampie” and, of course, “St. Patrick’s Day” also see drastic increases.
I totally understand wanting to get into the holiday spirit during a masturbation sesh, but of all the Irish-themed fetishes on this list, what makes Leprechaun Porn so magical? I had to find out for myself. For journalism.
I immediately imagined a scenario where a little redhead midget leprechaun chick would slide down a rainbow into a pot of gold. Then the dude leprechaun would pop out and say in a jolly, Irish, high-pitched voice, “Yerr not gettin’ me pot o’ gold without scarin’ me snake outta me trousers first, ya filthy wench!” Then they’d unbuckle their hats and pants and smash their miniature Michelin Man-looking bodies together until the money shot.
But, to my dismay, leprechaun porn was nothing like that. There are only like nine total videos. Most are nude clips from a weird series of horror movies called “Leprechaun.” The other few are normal-sized people wearing St. Patrick’s Day costumes. It’s kind of bullshit. 7/10 still finished..
Image via YouTube