I’m not what you’d call a “politics” guy. In fact, when I heard about James Comey getting fired, I had to Google who that was to jog my memory. There’s just too much going on in my noodle to actually care about frivolous Washington DC hullabaloo like the head of the FBI getting the can. I’d rather spend my days wondering what Faye Reagan is up to these days than actually read about the government.
But I do know who Sean Spicer is, and the guy deserves his own reality show. He’s laugh-out-loud funny, and his latest schtick was hiding in the bushes (!) to avoid questions about James Comey from the media. It’s like a fucking episode of Veep.
After Spicer spent several minutes hidden in the bushes behind these sets, Janet Montesi, an executive assistant in the press office, emerged and told reporters that Spicer would answer some questions, as long as he was not filmed doing so. Spicer then emerged.
“Just turn the lights off. Turn the lights off,” he ordered. “We’ll take care of this…. Can you just turn that light off?”
Spicer got his wish and was soon standing in near darkness between two tall hedges, with more than a dozen reporters closely gathered around him. For 10 minutes, he responded to a flurry of questions, vacillating between light-hearted asides and clear frustration with getting the same questions over and over again.
Poor Spicer. This guy is RATTLED. His job is to literally be the conduit between White House and press; answers should be spoon-fed to him by a bunch of politics nerds with him just regurgitating them back to the media. But he’s so shook that he’s literally hiding in the bushes! And when he finally emerges, he’s demanding that the lights be off for his press conference. Have you ever heard someone demand the lights off for a presser?! It’s preposterous!
It’s like he was being followed by some gargoyle-looking wildebeest of a chick at a party, just hiding in closets resorting to anything not to have to talk with her. And when she finally catches him and he’s like “fuck it, let’s smash cellulite,” he just turns the lights off and deals with it for ten minutes. That’s the Sean Spicer strategy for dealing with ugly girls and the press. I’d laugh, but the rest of the world is laughing enough..
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