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Screw The Narc Who Tattled On This Couple Who Had Sex In A Church Parking Lot

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Whether it happened in your formative years and it was your parents or it came later on in life in the form of a pesky roommate, we’ve all been in this scenario. Your girl is giving you that special look, but somebody else’s presence is firmly blocking any chance you have of advancing to the end zone. So what do you do? Do you sit on your blue balls in defeat? Hell no, you take your lady out for a drive and find yourselves some romantic spot in a church parking lot like a freaking gentleman.

From New York Post:

Ryan Benjamin Douglas, 31, was arrested Tuesday after he allegedly got busy with a woman in broad daylight while parked outside a Key West Catholic church, according to the Florida Key News.

Authorities said that a man called police around 3:30 p.m. Nov. 17. after he heard a woman moaning inside a Cadillac Escalade at the Basilica of St. Mary Star of the Sea.

What kind of monster takes time out of his day to tell on this couple? I don’t see how what they do in the privacy of their own car in a church parking lot is any of this man’s business. I mean, a church parking lot is not the ideal place to set up shop, but clearly this was just a heat-of-the-moment, park-it-and-pound-it type of deal. It’s not like they were trying to be offensive.

He told police that looked inside the vehicle and found the frisky couple in the act.

The pair allegedly screamed profanities at him before fleeing the scene.

The witness, however, took a photo of the SUV and contacted police. He said he wanted to pursue charges since kids could have seen the couple.

I’d scream profanities at this dipshit, too. Who’s more creepy: the couple having sex, or the guy who peers into their vehicle to watch them? And that line about somehow wanting to keep kids from seeing? No kid is going to see because they’re wise enough to not roll up on a car that’s bouncing around with foggy windows. They know what this game is about. I guess my point is do unto others as you would have them do unto you. In other words, mind your own fucking business, guy.

[via New York Post]

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Dent is a washed up former athlete who swears he's totally over his ex-girlfriend. One of these days he'll get around to applying to a real job, but until then he'll keep pumping out lackluster articles while downing copious amounts of Natty Light.

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