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Science Says Couples Who Drink Together Stay Together

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Showing every other couple how it's done, one semiformal at a time. TFM.

Everyone seems to be under the impression that the key to a healthy relationship is to grab your significant other and go hiking or cuddle or talk about your feelings and shit. Fuck that. Science says get drunk instead.

From AOL:

SUNY (State University of New York) Buffalo has concluded that couples who drink together stay together. Dr. Gregory Homish of SUNY Buffalo has spent the last decade studying the behavior and satisfactions of couples. He recently came to the conclusion that couples with similar vices (such as alcohol) and levels of engagement with such vices are likely to be content with their relationship. The correlation was especially prevalent for alcohol consumption. In other words, booze with your boo for a successful relationship!

Aside from the use of the term “boo,” everything about that paragraph is fantastic. It only makes sense that a girl who likes to get fucked up would be the one willing to stick it out with you for the long haul. She won’t judge you for getting blasted and peeing on things you shouldn’t – she’ll be right by your side, squatting over the side of the cop car with her pants around her ankles. That’s what you call love, folks. Just look at these happy couples.

Ignoring all suggestions to stop drinking, continuing to ruin a couple hundred dollars worth of clothing, and not giving any fucks. TFM.

Always by his side.

drunk formal-500x374

Is this love that I’m feeling? Yes. Also, nausea.

The truck bed hookup. TFM.

Hold me tender.

That "no one can see us under the pong table" meaningless hookup. TFM.

Aww. They drank each other under the table.

Casually checking your phone mid-hookup. TFM.

I have a feeling in my chest. Might be love. Might be you crushing me.

The mid-hookup pass out. TFM.

Put this on your “Relationship Goals” Tumblr page, bitch.

So if you want to try your hand at going steady in college, find a cheap handle and a girl who’s down for the cause. Alcohol is the glue that will hold your love together.

[via AOL]

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Alex Buscemi

AKA Boosh. Former high school back-up wide receiver. Author of two pretty successful Reddit comments. Recent grad from the University of South Carolina.

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