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Ryan Lochte Available for One Night Stands

Anytime an American Olympian rises to glory, attention is sure to follow. The media, the world, and most importantly, members of the opposite sex tend to become enamored with the American champion. With the national spotlight focusing in on Ryan Lochte, the women of America have been curious as to whether or not Lochte has found a potential mate yet.

Some sources have linked Lochte to other Olympians, musicians, and even models, but his own mother told a reporter that none of these rumors are true. “He goes out on one-night stands. He’s not able to give fully to a relationship because he’s always on the go,” Ike Lochte said today. Good news for all those girls who read 50 Shades of Grey and think about Ryan Lochte during their bathtub pleasure sessions. It’s only fitting you please yourself to this swimming bro whilst underwater.

Olympic Swimmers have got to be among the coolest rosters for any squad in these games. There is of course Michael Phelps, currently at 20 medals, who loves to get stoned and play FIFA or something like that, and now there’s Ryan Lochte, one-night stand king of the Olympics. Plus all these awesome people.

Keep Kickin’ Ass, USA Swimming.

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