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Round Up Caroling

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Round Up Caroling

The most wonderful time of the year is just nine days away. Tis’ the season to be jolly! No, I’m not some dyslexic person with severe hypothermia. I’m referring to the greatest party weekend at the University of Texas, and possibly any college campus in our fine country. They are the two syllables that undoubtedly send a rush through my body which I imagine is similar to the one Tyrone Biggums must feel when he hits the crack rock: ROUND UP.

It’s hard to explain Round Up in great detail. When you ask most people, they’ll just tell you, “Round Up is fucking awesome!” While they are certainly not wrong, most people would definitely prefer a more specific description before they partake in myseterious debauchery. Unfortunately, I can’t just write “Do it you pussy, you’ll thank me later.” That may have worked when you tried your first beer or your first joint, but it won’t suffice for Round Up.

I figured the best way of explaining Round Up was to write a few carols, since this really is the most wonderful time of the year. Forget the holiday season. This is the time of year when we put our differences aside and celebrate. I hope these are inspirational enough for at least one pledge trainer to force the pledges from his house to go Round Up caroling at sorority houses.

It’s The Most Wonderful Time of The Year

It’s the most wonderful time of the year
With the crawfish you’re smelling
Sorostitutes yelling “I’m Drunk!” in your ear
It’s the most wonderful time of the year

It’s the least, least sober season of all
There’s lots of musicians, we have malnutrition
Due to alcohol
At least phil-anthropy chairs feed us all

If you aren’t wasted, in minutes from waking
Just fake it, and you should be fine
Just don’t fake it all too much; you could get in trouble
She says she’s of age, she is lyin’

It’s the most wonderful time of the year
There’ll be much neon wearing
And random drunk swearing
And plenty of beer
It’s the most wonderful time
It’s the most wonderful time
It’s the most wonderful time
It’s the most wonderful time of the year

The 12 Days of Round-Up

On the 12th day of Round-Up, my slampiece gave to me
12 Graders faking
11 Texas Fight chants
10 washed-up rappers
9 Rushees Signing
8 Beers a-flowing
7 Slides a-slipping
6 Sloots a-laying
5 MIPs
4 Crawfish boils
3 Hours of sleep
2 Blacked-out days
And my order of neon T’s

All I Want For Round-Up Is Booze

I don’t want a lot for Round-Up
Maybe a butt for my pee
Once it starts, I’ll say so long
To all conscious abilities
Since I’m looking to get blown
Please no girls that live at home
The mountains turned blue
All I want for Round Up is booze

I’m already set for Round Up
Neon tanks, and my Sperry’s
(I got) a pair of cheap sunglasses
Goes along with my croakies
Concerts all across West Campus
Then food at sororities
We already started drinking
At Abel’s, Thursday at Three
I just want to go to town
On girls that want to earn their crowns
I’ll take an anchor too
But all I want for Round Up is booze

I’ll hit up some crawfish boils
And go down a slip n’ slide
Do a beer bong, and go shotgun
Reassert my manly pride
The one time we’ll coordinate things
It’s a nice, cool little trick
It’ll be at 2 PM when
We say that OU Sucks dick

Enjoy Round Up, and stay safe out there.

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