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If any Auburn fans decide to sneak an extra roll of toilet paper into the Rose Bowl for the BCS National Championship Game, it better be because they have wildly explosive IBS, at least according to the Rose Bowl’s official Twitter account.
This past weekend, the Twitter account @AUFAMILY posited perhaps the most important question it has ever asked.
— AUFAMILY (@AUFAMILY) December 29, 2013
But have the palms ever been rolled? Fair question — one that probably got quite a few of the Auburn faithful excited to heave toilet paper into the trees should their Tigers prevail. Sensing a possible situation, the Rose Bowl responded by informing Auburn fans that, no, you dirty hillbillies, we don’t generally throw ass-wiping paper into our picturesque trees as a form of celebration. Go back to your shanties.
Sadly, actually, @RoseBowlStadium responded far more formally and diplomatically, but they were totally thinking that.
@AUFAMILY Please do not attempt to roll the palm trees. PPD will take action if necessary.
— Rose Bowl Stadium (@RoseBowlStadium) December 30, 2013
It seems unlikely that, even if Auburn won, the fans would actually roll the palms outside the stadium, but Auburn fans have to realize they aren’t going to get away with shamelessly littering in California of all places. That’s a serious offense over there, and they’re not exactly a bunch of Jameis Winstons.