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Every year during the NFL Combine, the NFL Network’s Rich Eisen runs a 40-yard dash in a full suit for the #RunRichRun campaign, which raises awareness for St. Jude’s Children’s Research Hospital. A good cause no doubt, and one that he encourages others to partake in and upload their results.
One of this year’s more notable participants was NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell, who hasn’t risen to the challenge since 2015 when he ran a 5.53.
Since it probably wouldn’t hurt him to rack up good publicity right about now, the commish decided to give it the ol’ college try once again and lace up the sneaks for another sprint through the fifth floor of the NFL offices.
Clocking in at 5.41 isn’t bad at all for a 59-year-old in a full suit. And while the timing methods employed by his employees certainly aren’t as legit as the real deal, he did technically run better than six prospects at this year’s combine. But does Rog have what it takes to make it in the league?
The short answer? No. You have to imagine he’s rocking some serious old man titties under that suit, so his bench press showing probably wouldn’t be up to snuff. His creaking, crackly joints are likely fragile and understretched, so any sort of jumping would be out of the question. And forget about the three-cone drill and shuttle run; he’d just be asking for instant ACL tears in both legs. So, in a very tangible sense, Rog is severely underqualified to have any sort of NFL career.
More glaring, however, is Goodell’s lack of key intangibles. His inability to work with coaches (Jerry Jones) and his off-the-field issues (Deflategate) all point to Goodell’s immaturity and need for improvement. If he hopes to make it as a viable prospect at any point in the future, Goodell certainly has a long way to go.
All that being said, the Cleveland Browns would be happy to spend their first round pick on him..
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