======= ======= ====== ====== ====== ===== ==== ====== ====== ===== ==== ======= ======= ====== ====== ====== ===== ==== ====== ====== ===== ====
Middle school and high school were times when it was more impressive if you were good at a guitar video game than you were at playing a real guitar. Those days are set to return, because Harmonix is releasing “Rock Band 4” this year on PS4 and Xbox One after a nearly five-year gap in title releases.
If you’re worried about having to buy new “instruments,” fear not, my fellow rockers, because you can use your old “Rock Band” controllers from Xbox 360 and PS3 with the new game. If your mom threw away your old gear, well, that sucks and you should call her right now and tell her, “Fuck you, Mom.” Unfortunately, you’ll still have to buy the new hardware. Additionally, most purchased songs from older games will be able to be transferred.
Rumored songs for the new title include Tenacious D’s “Rize of the Fenix,” Weezer’s “Back to the Shack,” “Purple Haze” by Jimi Hendrix, and “Don’t Stop Me Now” by Queen.
You’re lying if you say that you didn’t brag about playing super hard songs on “expert” to your friends back in the day. Having “Rock Band” or “Guitar Hero” skills gave you hard-earned status. You couldn’t go to a kid’s birthday party if you were bad, or even just mediocre, because you would undoubtedly kill the mood of all the elite players with a lackluster performance.
A message to all the sororities out there: host “Rock Band”-based philanthropy events this year and you will see a sharp increase in fraternity participation. You won’t even need a prize because the pride of being the house with the best “Rock Band” skills will be a trophy in and of itself.
I, personally, was more of a “Guitar Hero” guy, so here’s to hoping a new “GH” comes out now that “Rock Band” is making a comeback. In the meantime, I’ll be warming up my fingers and drinking hot tea to get my voice in tip-top shape.
Oh, and here’s a video of all the hipsters who work on the game talking about how cool they think it is:
[via Rolling Stone]