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RIP To Pinky The Flamingo, Murdered In Cold Blood… She’s Dancing With Harambe Now

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Just a terrible couple months for zoo animals.

Pinky, a flamingo at Busch Gardens in Orlando, was murdered on Tuesday when a crazy drunk picked the bird up and slammed her to the ground.

From Tampa Bay Times:

TAMPA — Flamingos stomp their feet to bring delicious critters to the water’s surface. But when Pinky did it, people were entertained. She was one of Busch Garden’s animal ambassadors, danced the flamenco on TV and delighted delegates at the 2012 Republican National Convention.

Pinky the flamingo died Tuesday, police said, after she was attacked by a park patron.

Tampa police said Joseph Corrao, 45, grabbed her pink-feathered body and violently slammed Pinky to the ground about 6:44 p.m. Tuesday — in front of his own mother and three children.

Pinky was badly injured, police said, one of her feet nearly severed. Busch Gardens veterinarians had to euthanize her late Tuesday. The Chilean flamingo was 19, about to turn 20 next month.

Corrao, of Orlando, was arrested on a charge of felony animal cruelty — a year and 15 days after his release from prison on charges that he shot and killed two chained dogs at point-blank range with a shotgun.

Poor Pinky, man. Look at homegirl’s moves:

She loved tapping her feet and putting on a show. It wasn’t just a futile attempt to attract fish to the surface of water that wasn’t there… she did it for the fans. She lived for the limelight. The roar of applause. The scraps of pretzel people chucked into her pen, ignoring the signs that said “Do Not Feed The Flamingos.”

But like John Lennon and Selena, some crazy super fan couldn’t deal and murdered her in cold blood. Picked her up and slammed her dead — in front if his own children. The guy had a history of being a tremendous piece of shit, evidenced by the Facebook posts the Tampa Bay Times dug up.

The day before Pinky died, Corrao wrote on Facebook about how excited he was to see a Tampa Bay Rays game with his two sons. He said they had box seats.

He wrote: “all u can drink and eat free,” and “i will be tepsy tonight.”

Facebook friends did not seem pleased with that status update. They told him to “behave himself” and “make a good impression for your kids.”

To which Corrao responded: “I’ve never been to jail in Tampa.”

Goddammit this guy is the fucking worst.

In Pinky’s death, a new meme has been born. What will follow?

1. An endless string of memes that many will find hilarious, but many more will be sick of after a week (in turn, making it even more hilarious to the former group).

2. T-shirts.

3. Pussy bloggers whining “WE MADE PINKY T-SHIRTS FIRST” despite the fact that Pinky tees existed on smaller sites months before they made them, and despite the fact that claiming ownership of a meme you didn’t start is fucking pathetic.

RIP Pinky, you gorgeous, long-legged bitch. You’re in a better place now, tap-dancing for angels and eating all the salmon you can fit in your beak. Say hey to my boy Harambe.

[via Tampa Bay Times]

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Alex Buscemi

AKA Boosh. Former high school back-up wide receiver. Author of two pretty successful Reddit comments. Recent grad from the University of South Carolina.

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