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Ridiculous Tinder Pickup Lines, Part 115

This is a recurring TFM series. Catch up with all installments of Ridiculous Tinder Pickup Lines by visiting the archive.

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Crazy things can happen when you swipe right.


Damn, Allison!


I like to imagine this was the end of their conversation.


I’m pretty sure petroleum jelly counts as normal lube; it’s grape jelly you’re thinking of.


Mr. Owl, how many ass smacks does it take to get a girl to call you daddy?


Court clearly does not appreciate Step Brothers references. She’s going to have a hard time finding a millennial mate.

If you’ve had a hilarious Tinder interaction or have come across an absurd Tinder profile, send it to


This is the same as saying, “I’ve never seen your nether region, but I bet your vagina is huuuuge!!!”


That’s going to be his excuse for forgetting your name, too, which is way more confusing than it sounds. Think about it.


There’s like 150 years between those two French events you’re referencing… What about the Napoleon years, dude?




Sending her the entire script of Bee Movie has a 47% better success rate than sending her One Direction lyrics. I’ve done the math.

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Jared Borislow

Jared Borislow (né The DeVry Guy) is a Senior Writer for Grandex Inc and a 2015 graduate of the University of Wisconsin.

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