A 20-year-old sorority member from Northern Arizona University had herself a nice little Friday last week. According to a report from the AZ Daily Sun, the girl entered a stranger’s apartment around 4 p.m., ran to his bedroom, jumped on the bed, stripped down naked, and began yelling “Am I pretty?” before refusing to leave.
And that was just the beginning.
When officers arrived, they saw the suspect standing on an exterior second-floor balcony completely naked and yelling incoherently. She put on her underwear, then launched her body into an officer who was climbing the stairs toward her.
The officer was able to catch his balance and place the suspect in handcuffs. She struggled against the officer and yelled that she loved marijuana on her way to the patrol car. Inside, she managed to slip out of her handcuffs and started destroying the interior of the vehicle.
Officers interviewed other witnesses in the area. The witnesses said the suspect was at a nearby residence earlier in the afternoon, but had been kicked out for yelling disruptively without provocation. She ran to a second stranger’s residence, where she used a lawn chair to smash a window in an attempt to get inside. She then hit a Jeep parked outside with the same lawn chair. After that, she ran to the victim’s apartment. When officers retrieved her clothing, they found two of her pant pockets filled with marijuana.
She was arrested and “charged with indecent exposure, disorderly conduct, criminal damage, trespassing, misdemeanor marijuana possession, resisting arrest and aggravated assault of a law enforcement officer.”
“She struggled against the officer and yelled that she loved marijuana on her way to the patrol car.”
Okay, but what else was she on? Goodness gracious. No way she turned into a rabid animal with nothing to lose after simply hitting a spliff. She took some of that stuff that makes people try to pull their own limbs off and shit. This wasn’t pot. Well, this wasn’t just pot.
She had herself a full day, didn’t she? How does that Jim Valvano quote go about having a full day? I think it’s “If you laugh, you think, and you cry, that’s a full day. That’s a heck of a day.” With all due respect to the late Jimmy V, that’s not a full day. It’s an emotional day, but not a full one.
A full day is getting lit on hardcore drugs, destroying property with a lawn chair, storming into a stranger’s apartment, going tits and vag out on his bed, asking him if you’re pretty, walking out to the balcony while still in your birthday suit, then putting on panties before lunging at your arresting officer, shouting about loving pot, slipping your cuffs, and destroying the inside of the cruiser.
That’s a full day. That’s a heck of a day..
[via AZ Daily Sun]