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Quotes From Girls’ Tinder Profiles And What They Actually Mean

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tinder profiles

1. “I love to laugh/hang out with friends”

Translated: “I want to appear lighthearted and fun, but am very unoriginal and probably don’t have a ton of friends.”

2. “”You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take” – Wayne Gretzky” – Michael Scott

Translated: “I like The Office and find it relatable because of its awkward humor which is totally me! I’m so unique!!!”

3. *Insert zodiac sign here*

Translated: “Pretty susceptible to lying and bullshit. The sum of my kids and tattoos is at least 5. Studying to become a nurse’s aid or some shit. Check out all the mirror selfies in my profile.”

4. “Fluent in sarcasm”

Translated: “I like to think of myself as witty and fun. Most of my humor is actually regurgitated from Tumblr and a specific TV show I watch religiously and on which I am convinced I am just like a character.”

5. “I’m an old soul”

Translated: “I don’t fit in with most people, so I’m claiming that I’m old fashioned and would fit in better with my romanticized version of history. I’m hipster trash.”

6. *Any bio longer than six lines*

Translated: “I am legitimately on Tinder trying to find a husband/soulmate. Known to have a cig break with the girl who listed her zodiac sign.”

7. “Spontaneous”

Translated: “I am generally bored and have a pretty open calendar so I do whatever random activity comes to mind just for something to do. I think I want you to surprise me with an unplanned date or road trip, but I’d actually be pretty thrown off and uncomfortable if you actually tried it.”

8. “I want a guy to come sweep me off my feet”

Translated: “I am an unhappy person, so hopefully you have a more exciting life than me and can fall in love pretty instantly. I want kids inside of three years, and no, I don’t have plans to start working out.”

9. “Down to try anything once ;)”

Translated: “I don’t actually know what latex feels like.”

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Not good, but better than Wally

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