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Pussy Riot Sentenced to Two Years in Russian Prison

The feminist punk band Pussy Riot received a 2-year sentence for their blasphemous performance in protest of Vladimir Putin at a cathedral in Russia. The three women were charged and convicted of hooliganism motivated by religious hatred.

Hooliganism? Is that seriously a fucking crime? They weren’t deranged morons beating the shit out of each other and burning cop cars after a soccer game. This was just a few fembots disturbing the peace in a church. The harsh sentence has drawn widespread condemnation from human rights organizations and most civilized societies.

The overly excessive punishment pretty much confirms suspicions that Russia doesn’t give a shit about human rights and that Putin is a huge totalitarian douche bag. Now I don’t really give a damn about feminism or punk music, but I do care when relatively innocent people get arrested for expressing their opinions. It’s twenty fucking twelve. This shit still happens? Are we still in the fucking dark ages? The freedom of expression is one of the most fundamental human rights we have. We take it for granted here in America and it’s hard to fathom going to jail for singing some shitty song about how the government sucks.

Several protesters were arrested outside the court after the ruling. Those bastards even arrested world chess champion Garry Kasparov. Do you remember that dude? He was grand chess master of the universe in the Soviet Union. He was so fucking good at chess, we had to build a super computer just to beat him at. Kasparov accused IBM of cheating and demanded a rematch, but IBM refused and dismantled the machine. TFM.

In all fairness, it’s fucking Russia… what do people expect? When you think of the world’s most evil countries, Russia is pretty high up on the list. If you want to protest your government or sing some hippie song about world peace, that’s great. Just don’t do it in Russia. That seems like common sense to me. Even though there is a lot of international support for Pussy Riot, support in Russia is only about 6%. Everyone is too pussy to riot over Pussy Riot. The Russian people give 6% of a fuck about this whole thing. That says a lot.

All this does is reaffirm my unwavering faith that America is the greatest nation in the world. It really sucks for Pussy Riot, but there’s not a lot anybody can do to help them. The fate of the band is uncertain, but one thing is for sure, there is going to be one hell of a Pussy Riot in Russian prison when all the butch inmates see those three fresh feminist fish.

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RageTheory

RageTheory (@RageTheory) is a contributing writer for Total Frat Move. He enjoys long walks of whiskey and sodomy on the beach.

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