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The time has finally come. The spring semester is coming to a close, you’re an upperclassman now, and you’ve recently signed a lease for an apartment just off campus next semester. Your all-too-brief stay in that wonderful, pillared, smelly, hazardous mansion of dreams that you call a fraternity house has come to an end. Leave a few momentos behind in your room, like that old Spuds McKenzie poster that has been there for generations, and make sure your DVD collection is intact. Take one final deep breath of the sweet smell of the frat castle, and close the book on a triumphant chapter of your life.
Pro: You will no longer be living in filth.
Con: Your immune system is about to return to normal human levels.
Pro: Peace and quiet.
Con: You have three roommates instead of dozens of brothers.
Pro: Your GPA is going to receive a significant boost.
Con: You’re actually going to class.
Pro: Your landlady is hot.
Con: Your landlady is a bitch.
Pro: There’s no risk management chair to tell you no.
Con: Explaining the hospital bill to mom and dad.
Pro: House parties.
Con: Losing your security deposit.
Pro: You barely have to interact with freshmen.
Con: The pledges don’t know who you are.
Pro: Hot neighbors.
Con: Neighbors that aren’t hot.
Pro: Plenty of new people to meet.
Con: You’re forced to cohabitiate with GDIs and other undesirables.
Pro: Grilling out with the roommates.
Con: You have to cook your own food.
Pro: Out-of-house dues are significantly lower.
Con: You still get fined for missing chapter.
Pro: Getting a little maintenance done around the house makes you feel like a real man.
Con: It takes the pledges forever to get to your place.
Pro: No one is going to break into your room to steal beers at 4:00am.
Con: There’s never any room in your refrigerator.
Pro: Chicks think it’s cool that you have your own place.
Con: Chicks think that since you have your own place you’re looking to settle down.
Pro: Your girlfriend will actually want to hang out where you live.
Con: Your girlfriend will be over ALL THE TIME.
Con: The walls are paper thin.
Pro: Rent in college towns is a joke.
Con: Cable service in college towns is a joke.
Pro: The pledges are terrified of you.
Con: That just means you’re getting old and angry.
Pro: Your new place is really nice.
Con: You can’t destroy anything.
Pro: You can walk to campus.
Con: You have to walk to campus.
Pro: You’re learning the ropes of adulthood.
Con: You’re learning the ropes of adulthood.