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TENNESSEE—Start drinking whiskey at 9:00am. TFM.
Who HASN’T had a day like this? Wake up wasted, start drinking again, take a giant couch cushion to the face. If you aren’t bleeding out of at least three holes on your body before the party ends, you clearly didn’t rage hard enough. Put down the Smirnoff and start drinking whiskey straight and carrying around a 2-liter cola bottle, like our friend in the video. Here’s a free lesson: If you see a brother passed out in the hallway, and you don’t take the time to tie a broomstick to his lifeless body, you don’t know what brotherhood is all about. Look how he holds his phone and rambles into it, like there is really someone on the other line that can understand him, or is listening at all. This brother sets a great example for all of us. If you don’t like what’s happening at the meeting simply stand up, pick up your chair, and toss it into the middle of the room. That’s right big fella, sleep it off. I’m gonna give him the benefit of the doubt and assume he just had a four-way with the three hottest sorostitutes in the state, and this was the celebration afterward.
“I woke up and I was like, ‘where am I at?’ And I said in an accent, and I said in an accent, ‘wurrr am I at?'”
Video submitted by shankopotamus