Imagine a scenario where you got to bare-knuckle fight Justin Bieber with no strings attached. He can’t press charges. He’s not carrying any weapons. No one is there to break it up. No repercussions whatsoever. Just you, The Biebs, and both of your fists. Sounds awesome, right? You could take him down, couldn’t you? How badly though?
Now, imagine fighting two Biebers. Could you still win? How about three? Or five? Imagine if there were 25 Biebers. Could you still win the brawl? It’s like a gang fight, but you’re the only one in your gang. That’s the shitty part. The awesome part is the other gang is just full of a bunch of Justin Biebers. Would you still win the fight? Just barely, or comfortably? What’s the maximum number of Biebs you could you take on at once and still come out victorious?
The Bieber Profile:
Height: 5’7″ per IMDB (probably a generous measurement)
Weight: approximately 115 lbs.
Country of origin: Canada
Best known for: “Baby Baby Baby” and being a douchebag
Hobbies: Playing guitar, singing, dating hot Latina girls, sagging his pants, driving fast through neighborhoods, spitting on people, taking his shirt off, lifting light weights, making this face, doing the backwards piece sign, hanging out with douchebags, being a douchebag, looking like a lesbian, being from Canada, getting stupid tattoos, wearing earrings, hanging out with guys that weigh under 120 lbs., pissing in mop buckets in bars, cussing out pictures of former U.S. presidents, dressing like an asshole, and just generally acting like an asshole
Fighting technique: unknown, but presumably flailing his tiny fists while retreating, also probably kicks